Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Chapter Eight

Chapter 8





Have you ever had the sensation that you would love if the floor swallowed you up right then? Well, I’m there. Seeing Pa’s face I knew I was in for it. I release Will’s hand and start to walk towards Pa.
“Stay right there Elizabeth Marie.” Pa ground out through gritted teeth. I see Pa’s jaw clench and his hands clench and unclench. I knew I was in trouble; he used my full name and middle name. I stop walking and hang my head. “William Duncan what on earth is going on?” Will looks at me and then stares at Pa.
“N-Nothing Sir.”
“Then why do I find you holding my daughters hand, leaning towards her, alone in the barn?” I look at Pa again and feel like I need to do something. I slowly walk towards Pa.
“Pa, nothing was going on. He was just coming to get me. He knew the service started soon, and he knew I was in here.” I smile hoping to get Pa to forget it and smile as well. Pa glares at me and looks again to Will. I see Will hang his head in shame. He should not need to hang his head in shame. We did nothing. I summon up enough edge and courage to face Pa. “Pa, stop looking at Will like he’s, like he’s scum. Pa Will is one of the most respectable men I know. Nothing was going on, I promise Pa.” I grab Pa’s arm. Pa glares at me again.
“No more of this Elizabeth. We’ll talk later.” He glares at Will again then stomps out of the barn. I feel tears behind my eyes and blink rapidly to avoid crying. I look to Will. His Adam’s apple bobbed and he clenches and unclenches his hands. I hate that this is upon him. I walk towards him and he backs away. He slowly shakes his head and stalks out of the barn. I collapse on the barn floor. How could Pa do that? We did nothing and nothing was going to happen. I was going to make sure. Shudders rack my body. I realize I left my shawl on the porch swing. I stand up and run to the porch. Might as well put on a happy face and get through the night.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


“Here are some key scriptures on loving your enemies….” I jerk, trying to listen to Pastor Franklin’s sermon. I sit next to Anna and Ma. Anna is fidgeting in the pew. Ma is sitting straight and erect.
’A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.’ That’s John 13:34. What does that tell us? Well Jesus says to love everyone as He has loved us. Because what did He do that was the ultimate sacrifice to show us His love? He died for us to forgive our sins. That’s pretty big. Now I’m not saying you die for your enemies, but just show them love like Jesus does.” He walks to the podium and sifts through the Bible and looks up.
“Now this verse I hold close to my heart. ‘This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.’ That’s John 15:12-13. It’s about saying the same thing the other did, but now He’s saying to lay down your life for your friends.
“Our highest calling is to spread the Word of the Gospel and help others grow in Christ. We should be passionately concerned about introducing people to Jesus. Along the same lines, we should be passionately concerned about other believers' spiritual welfare. Jesus loved His enemies. Make Him your example on how to live. I know none of us are perfect, there was and only is one perfect person. Jesus.
“Realize that your enemies may just be acting like that to you out of something within. They do not necessarily hate you. They might just be going through something and are lashing out on you. However, if someone insults you or dislikes you, respond in a Christ-like manner. Don't take things personally or give in to hurt feelings and let your emotions control you. Instead, see the other person as someone with a problem who needs God's help and your prayers. Forgive even if your enemy does not apologize. Follow Jesus' example: ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’ Follow Stephen's example: ‘Then he fell on his knees and cried out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." When he had said this, he fell asleep.’
“Pray for your enemies. When you feel irritated about someone: Pray for the other person's needs. Pray that God will help you forgive. Pray that God will help you love him or her. Remember Paul’s words about love. ‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.’
Pastor Franklin ended with a prayer then I hear a round of amen’s. I raise my head and see Charity Cook. I vow to use this sermon in practice with Charity. I realize I have not been really nice to Charity over the years and I need to change that. I think back to all those years and see when I had a chance to be nice I retorted back at her. I stand up with everyone else. I look and see Charity talking with a guy. I did not recognize him, but he’s probably new to the town. I decide I’ll reconcile with her later. I follow my family out to shake hands with Pastor Franklin. When I reach him I shake his hand. “Pastor it was an amazing sermon. I realized I need to be more like Jesus in this area. Thank you.” He smiles.
“You’re welcome Elizabeth. I hoped to reach people. I’m glad I did.” He squeezes my hand and releases my hand then reaches to shakes hands with Arthur. I walk out and feel the cold mountain air on my face. Looking up to the mountains I always feel God with me. Looking at the mountains I feel like I can do anything. I breathe a prayer of thanks to God for everything in my life.

God bless!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Chapter Seven

Chapter 7


New Years Eve 1890



“Dear, why don’t you wear that brown dress that Charity gave you for your birthday for tonight’s service?” Ma asked me while she was working on her needlepoint in the parlor. I have yet to wear that dress for it makes me look like a frumpy horse.
“Ma, I was planning on wearing my green silk dress. I think it looks great with my eyes.”
I just hoped Ma agreed and says yes. I stopped my knitting. I looked into the eyes of the one woman that could make me feel safe or make me want to hide under the covers. Ma smiled, though small it was a smile. Ma rarely smiled. She felt adults should not show emotion it was a weakness. I on the other hand felt it was a strength. Showing your emotions to me help me cope with the world. She put down her needlepoint and took my hand.
“Dear, you may wear your green dress. Just promise me you’ll wear the brown dress to next Sunday’s service.” Might as well agree to it.
“I promise.” She released my hand and continued her needlepoint. I pick up my knitting and resumed knitting a scarf for Gamma.
I cannot say why I want to wear the green dress. It was my best dress, and it really brought out my eyes. I refuse to admit I want to wear it for Will. It’s simply just a coincidence that it’s Will’s favorite color. I wonder what would be Will’s reaction when he saw me in the dress. Would he like it or completely ignore it? Would I see the sparkle in his eyes I love oh so much?
Whoa, where did that come from? I felt the red creeping up my neck all the way up to my hairline. I so hope Ma do not notice the sudden color in my complexion. I ducked my head trying to hide it. I peek a look a Ma under my lashes. She’s still engrossed in her needlepoint. I inwardly exhale. She did not notice. I would get an onslaught of questions if she saw. I pick up my knitting and pack it up in the basket. I need fresh air. I stand up and head towards the door, hoping Ma does not question me. Ma looks up at me with her brows up in silent question. I smile. “I need some fresh air I shall finish the scarf later.” I quickly make an exit.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



I felt rather than saw Will jogging toward me. I sit on the porch swing looking towards the mountains. They look so beautiful at this time; the sun was almost behind them. This was like a tradition with me. On New Year’s Eve I always sit on the porch and watch the sun go down. I sit there thinking of the past year, and what is to come in the next.
The sunset is gorgeous tonight. It’s as if the colors and intensity of the light is just enough to calm you. The sun is like a great big romantic, inspirational fire in the sky.
It’s as if a powerful symphony was quieting down, becoming more emotional and beautiful as it dies down. Its rays seem friendly. They remind me of an old friend, waving goodbye to you. With it’s fingers of pink and purple waving goodbye.
I hear boots on the boards of the porch and my heart does a flip. My heart needs to stop doing this. I refuse to look into those eyes, so much like mine. The steps slow down and soon stop in front of me. I continue to look at the sunset. The sun is now completely behind the mountains and the last rays of sun is slowly descending down. I see the first star blinking in the sky.
I know Will is still standing there but I don’t think my mind could handle it. I glance at Will under my lashes and see he is not staring at the sunset but at me. I feel the blush creep up my neck again. I quickly turn my eyes from him and look again at the mountains. I feel Will sigh in my soul. How do I have such a connection with him?
I feel Will look at me and then slowly walk to the porch swing, I feel him sit down. I finally sum up enough courage to look at Will. I slowly look up. He’s staring at me again! What’s that emotion in his eyes? Endearment? Affection? Dare I think love? No, that can’t be love. He slowly smiles. I feel my lip twitching up of its own accord. I need to break the connection but I can’t make myself do it. Will leans ever so slightly forward. I need to look away and move away. I quickly look away and stand up. I need to walk away, I need to be able to breath normally again.
I run off the porch to the barn, hoping he does not follow. I walk into the barn out of breath. I hunch over and grab my knees trying to catch my breath. I know I should be inside with my family, but I just need some time to myself. I need time to sort through what happened on the porch or lack there of. I can’t believe what Will almost did. Can he actually have feelings for me? I refuse to contemplate what happened.
I see Shining Star in her stall. I usually feel better once I brush Shining Star. I pick up a brush and head towards her stall. Shining star is about to foal any day now. Shining Star whinnies when she sees me. I step into her stall and gradually brush her and whisper calming things to her. Shining Star is a great confidante for people. I always come to her to talk to. Best part is she does not judge me.
I hear a noise behind me and my heart flutters. How does my heart automatically know who it is? I turn around to see Will in the doorway of the barn. The light in the barn illuminates his sandy colored hair to a golden color. Will slowly walks towards me. I drop the brush in my hand and step out of the stall. I meet him halfway. He clears his throat and puts his hands in his pockets. I recognize the movement as what he does when he’s nervous. I find it quite endearing that he’s nervous to be near me. I smile to try to help him not be so nervous. His smile is more of a nervous smile. He looks down ad clears his throat again. “Lizzy?”
“Yes, Will?”
“I uh, well, I uh, what I’m trying to say is, uh,” He clears his throat again. “Lizzy, you’re not making this any easier.” He smiles his amazing smile.
“Making what any easier, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“What I’ve been trying to say is, uh,” he laughs nervously. He reaches for my hand and I gave it to him. “Lizzy,-”
“What’s going on in here?” Pa’s face was grim and his eyes radiated anger.