Chapter 9
“Thomas we need to go to our home in Boston, smallpox has broken out in Whispering Hills. I want to feel safe.” Ma says to Pa at the supper table. I watch Anna pick at her food. Anna’s complexion is all wrong. She has a peaches and cream complexion, and her cheeks now are more like tomatoes.
“Dear, we’re fine, as long as no one leaves this house unless they absolutely need to, we’ll be fine.” Pa gives Ma’s hand a squeeze and smiles at her. Ma smiles back then goes back to her food. Gamma rolls her eyes, and Grandpa looks sternly at her.
“Thomas you need to protect your family. If Catherine wants to go to the house in Boston you should listen. Even the Cooks’ went to their other home somewhere in New York.” Gamma argued.
“Mary-Lou, you needn’t express your feelings. If Thomas feels it’s time to go to their home in Boston he will pack up.” Grandpa smiles at Gamma. I continue to watch Anna, she does not look right. I hear commotion in the kitchen then see Hannah, Ma’s ladies’ maid come running in. She wore a panicked expression on her lovely face.
“Hannah Dear, what is wrong?” Ma asks.
“Mrs. Winthorpe, Lilly is sick Ma’am.” Hannah replies. I jerk my head up. Lilly is Anna’s ladies’ maid. Could Anna be sick? I look again to Anna; her eyes don’t hold her sparkle they usually have.
“Oh, dear, Thomas one of our servants our sick, still want to say we will not get the epidemic in our house. I told you weeks ago that people were coming down sick and we needed to move to Boston for a couple of weeks. Now we could get sick!” Ma shrieks.
“Hannah, go tell George to go get the Doctor Morgan for Lilly, and I think supper is done for tonight.” Pa gets up and heads out of the dining room. Ma pulls out her fan and fans herself. Anna gets up and slowly slumps to her room. Josephine and Arthur get up and walk to their room. Gamma looks at Grandpa then Grandpa gets up and helps Gamma up. Ma still sits and fans herself. I slowly get up. I look at the direction of the kitchen. I say a silent prayer for Lilly, praying God protects her when she’s sick. I add that God keeps us safe from whatever Lilly has.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wake from noise and footsteps outside my bedroom door. I swing my legs over the edge and get up. I run to get my dressing gown and slip it on. I walk to the door and peek out. I see servants running wildly with panic on their faces. I grab Brigit my ladies’ maid. She looks at me with terror in her eyes. “Hannah what’s going on?” I ask.
“Miss Anna she sick ma’am, she sick from Lilly Miss Elizabeth.” Hannah replies. I feel the color drain from my face. I release her arm and come fully out.
I run to Anna’s room down the hallway. I see Dr. Morgan leaning over Anna. Ma is in the corner with Pa crying silently in her handkerchief. Pa’s trying to comfort her. Gamma and Grandpa are next to them. I do not see Josephine or Arthur so they must have not woken up. I walk towards Dr. Morgan and stand next to him. I look at Anna. Her face is ashen. Dr. Morgan is checking Anna’s throat. Why would he do that? Unless… Dr. Morgan finishes and closes his black leather bag. He looks at me then at Ma and Pa. His face tells me everything.
“Its smallpox isn’t it? Oh, Dear Anna!” I look at Anna again.
“I’m afraid so Elizabeth. I have to put ya’ll in quarantine for a couple weeks. Ya’ll have been around her and have been exposed to her. The best thing for her is if you can get someone to go to Dots and ask for something. Dot has been busier than a bee in spring, since smallpox has come to Whispering Hills.” I take a deep breath and step up to Dr. Morgan.
“I’ll go to Dots and get something. I have barely been around her.” I look to Pa and Ma. Ma is still crying into her handkerchief. Pa looks at me then slowly nods. “I’ll go. I feel I have to do something for Anna.” Dr. Morgan nods then reaches in his black leather bag. He grabbed out a mask.
“I’d advise you wear this when you go out. Even though you’re in the same house you might not get it from her, but there’s a possibility you’ll get it from someone else in town.” He hands me the mask and then nods to Ma and Pa. “I’ll be praying for Anna Thomas. I hate to see kids sick.” He leaves the room and Trenton the butler leaves to show him out.
The house is in disarray. The servants are running from the servant corridors to Anna’s room. I hurry to my room to dress for my trip to town. I hurry to put on a working dress. I had asked Ma if I could put in an herb garden this spring. Then I asked if I could have a working dress. I feel it appropriate to wear the working dress to town. I do not bother with my hair. I do not think it will matter. I grab my shawl then run down the stairs. George meets me at the door. He nods to me.
“Miss Elizabeth, I have Will drivin’ you to town. I wish to stay to see what I can do for Miss Anna.” I smile at George. He’s been with our family ever since I can remember. He’s such a loyal servant.
“Thank you George. Right now all we can do is pray. But that is the best thing we can do.” I wave to him then run to the barn.
I see the buggy is already hitched up and waiting. Will is standing near it waiting. He looks tired. My heart does an unexpected flip and I frown. Why does my heart decide to do that now? I square my shoulders and try to hide the fact I had such a reaction to seeing him. I walk toward him. He notices me and his eyes widen. I halt and think. Why would he react like that? I realize I left my hair flowing down my back. My face reddens and I avert my eyes from his gaze. I hurry to try to grab my hair and put it up. But I realize I have nothing to put it up. He walks my way and I dare a glance at him. I see compassion and sincerity in his eyes. He stops within inches of me. I look up at him. He places his hands on my shoulders. I feel something like a bolt of lightening in me all the way to my toes. He puts his finger under my chin and raises my face so I’m looking right at his emerald eyes.
“Lizzy, George told about Anna how is she?” His eyes show so much compassion it is almost my undoing. I take a deep breath and step back from his hands. I close my eyes to compose myself. I open them to see him still looking at me with some emotion I can not describe.
“She’ll be okay once I go to Dots and get something to help. In the meantime pray for her Will.” My heart is hammering in my chest from his touch and nearness. He nods and heads to the buggy. Breathe, just breathe Elizabeth. Just remember to breathe. I follow him to the buggy. He waits for me to help me up. I hurry and scramble up before he has time to help me. He shakes his head and smiles. He grabs the reins and hands them to me. He jumps up on the seat next to me. He retakes the reins and yells to the horses to go. The buggy sways and jumps on the path. I can only think of poor little Anna in the bed her face ashen. I vow to do everything I can to see her better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Lizzy Dear! What in the blazes are you doing here at this hour come in, come in. It’s colder than my ice box out there. Now come here and stand next to the fire. Will darlin’ come here too! You two stand in front of the fire there and warm up. I’ll go put on some coffee. Now Dear tell me how’s your family?” Dot bustles back in and sets a kettle with coffee to warm up. She looks at me and her expression changes. Her bubbly smile is gone replaced with a sober frown. “Dear? Why are you here?” I look at her and try to smile. Obviously did not do too well. “Elizabeth is it your family?” I do not trust my voice so I slowly nod. I feel tears welling in my eyes. I blink rapidly trying to stop them. Will, who is sitting next to me, places his arm around my shoulders for comfort. He clears his throat.
“Dot, Anna is sick.” He clears it again. “It’s smallpox.” I hear Dot exhale and gasp. I look up and see tears swimming in her kind blue eyes. She leans over and pats my hand in my lap.
She stands up and walks over to a shelf filled with herbs. She grabs a jar than another. Soon she has at least nine jars on the counter. She starts doing her thing with herbs and mixes, shakes and grinds them. I watch in amazement as she does what I know is her favorite thing to do. She soon has six jars of mixed and shaken herbs. She walks back to me and Will.
“Dear, I have six jars for you to take home. The first one is a combination is Jujube fruits, Khaski and sugar. These should be boiled together and strained. The decoction should be given with three raisins if Anna is constipated. That will make a tea for her to drink. Alternatively, the other jar is figs. They should be cut into three pieces and cooked in a little water. That one there is Saffron. It should be mixed with it after straining it. The decoction helps shorten the course of the disease.
“If the pustules itch during drying up, a salt free diet should be given to Anna. Anna should be exposed to the smoke of Jhau or Bhojpatra leaves. Those are the jars there. When the scabs start falling off, cow's ghee or sesame oil, slightly warmed should be applied to the scars. The last jar is the sesame oil.
“I am giving these to you. I trust you to do exactly what I have told you. I will be praying for Anna and your family. Come see me when this epidemic is over.” She smile and gets up again. She grabs a basket and fills it with the jars. She brings the basket to me and hands it to Will who holds it in one hand and keeps his other arm around my shoulders. Just having his arm around me gives me strength that Anna will be fine. I look up at him and he smiles at me. When this is all over I shall contemplate what this emotion is in his eyes as he looks at me.
God bless!
Friday, April 1, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Chapter Eight
Chapter 8
Have you ever had the sensation that you would love if the floor swallowed you up right then? Well, I’m there. Seeing Pa’s face I knew I was in for it. I release Will’s hand and start to walk towards Pa.
“Stay right there Elizabeth Marie.” Pa ground out through gritted teeth. I see Pa’s jaw clench and his hands clench and unclench. I knew I was in trouble; he used my full name and middle name. I stop walking and hang my head. “William Duncan what on earth is going on?” Will looks at me and then stares at Pa.
“N-Nothing Sir.”
“Then why do I find you holding my daughters hand, leaning towards her, alone in the barn?” I look at Pa again and feel like I need to do something. I slowly walk towards Pa.
“Pa, nothing was going on. He was just coming to get me. He knew the service started soon, and he knew I was in here.” I smile hoping to get Pa to forget it and smile as well. Pa glares at me and looks again to Will. I see Will hang his head in shame. He should not need to hang his head in shame. We did nothing. I summon up enough edge and courage to face Pa. “Pa, stop looking at Will like he’s, like he’s scum. Pa Will is one of the most respectable men I know. Nothing was going on, I promise Pa.” I grab Pa’s arm. Pa glares at me again.
“No more of this Elizabeth. We’ll talk later.” He glares at Will again then stomps out of the barn. I feel tears behind my eyes and blink rapidly to avoid crying. I look to Will. His Adam’s apple bobbed and he clenches and unclenches his hands. I hate that this is upon him. I walk towards him and he backs away. He slowly shakes his head and stalks out of the barn. I collapse on the barn floor. How could Pa do that? We did nothing and nothing was going to happen. I was going to make sure. Shudders rack my body. I realize I left my shawl on the porch swing. I stand up and run to the porch. Might as well put on a happy face and get through the night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Here are some key scriptures on loving your enemies….” I jerk, trying to listen to Pastor Franklin’s sermon. I sit next to Anna and Ma. Anna is fidgeting in the pew. Ma is sitting straight and erect.
“’A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.’ That’s John 13:34. What does that tell us? Well Jesus says to love everyone as He has loved us. Because what did He do that was the ultimate sacrifice to show us His love? He died for us to forgive our sins. That’s pretty big. Now I’m not saying you die for your enemies, but just show them love like Jesus does.” He walks to the podium and sifts through the Bible and looks up.
“Now this verse I hold close to my heart. ‘This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.’ That’s John 15:12-13. It’s about saying the same thing the other did, but now He’s saying to lay down your life for your friends.
“Our highest calling is to spread the Word of the Gospel and help others grow in Christ. We should be passionately concerned about introducing people to Jesus. Along the same lines, we should be passionately concerned about other believers' spiritual welfare. Jesus loved His enemies. Make Him your example on how to live. I know none of us are perfect, there was and only is one perfect person. Jesus.
“Realize that your enemies may just be acting like that to you out of something within. They do not necessarily hate you. They might just be going through something and are lashing out on you. However, if someone insults you or dislikes you, respond in a Christ-like manner. Don't take things personally or give in to hurt feelings and let your emotions control you. Instead, see the other person as someone with a problem who needs God's help and your prayers. Forgive even if your enemy does not apologize. Follow Jesus' example: ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’ Follow Stephen's example: ‘Then he fell on his knees and cried out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." When he had said this, he fell asleep.’
“Pray for your enemies. When you feel irritated about someone: Pray for the other person's needs. Pray that God will help you forgive. Pray that God will help you love him or her. Remember Paul’s words about love. ‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.’”
Pastor Franklin ended with a prayer then I hear a round of amen’s. I raise my head and see Charity Cook. I vow to use this sermon in practice with Charity. I realize I have not been really nice to Charity over the years and I need to change that. I think back to all those years and see when I had a chance to be nice I retorted back at her. I stand up with everyone else. I look and see Charity talking with a guy. I did not recognize him, but he’s probably new to the town. I decide I’ll reconcile with her later. I follow my family out to shake hands with Pastor Franklin. When I reach him I shake his hand. “Pastor it was an amazing sermon. I realized I need to be more like Jesus in this area. Thank you.” He smiles.
“You’re welcome Elizabeth. I hoped to reach people. I’m glad I did.” He squeezes my hand and releases my hand then reaches to shakes hands with Arthur. I walk out and feel the cold mountain air on my face. Looking up to the mountains I always feel God with me. Looking at the mountains I feel like I can do anything. I breathe a prayer of thanks to God for everything in my life.
God bless!
Have you ever had the sensation that you would love if the floor swallowed you up right then? Well, I’m there. Seeing Pa’s face I knew I was in for it. I release Will’s hand and start to walk towards Pa.
“Stay right there Elizabeth Marie.” Pa ground out through gritted teeth. I see Pa’s jaw clench and his hands clench and unclench. I knew I was in trouble; he used my full name and middle name. I stop walking and hang my head. “William Duncan what on earth is going on?” Will looks at me and then stares at Pa.
“N-Nothing Sir.”
“Then why do I find you holding my daughters hand, leaning towards her, alone in the barn?” I look at Pa again and feel like I need to do something. I slowly walk towards Pa.
“Pa, nothing was going on. He was just coming to get me. He knew the service started soon, and he knew I was in here.” I smile hoping to get Pa to forget it and smile as well. Pa glares at me and looks again to Will. I see Will hang his head in shame. He should not need to hang his head in shame. We did nothing. I summon up enough edge and courage to face Pa. “Pa, stop looking at Will like he’s, like he’s scum. Pa Will is one of the most respectable men I know. Nothing was going on, I promise Pa.” I grab Pa’s arm. Pa glares at me again.
“No more of this Elizabeth. We’ll talk later.” He glares at Will again then stomps out of the barn. I feel tears behind my eyes and blink rapidly to avoid crying. I look to Will. His Adam’s apple bobbed and he clenches and unclenches his hands. I hate that this is upon him. I walk towards him and he backs away. He slowly shakes his head and stalks out of the barn. I collapse on the barn floor. How could Pa do that? We did nothing and nothing was going to happen. I was going to make sure. Shudders rack my body. I realize I left my shawl on the porch swing. I stand up and run to the porch. Might as well put on a happy face and get through the night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Here are some key scriptures on loving your enemies….” I jerk, trying to listen to Pastor Franklin’s sermon. I sit next to Anna and Ma. Anna is fidgeting in the pew. Ma is sitting straight and erect.
“’A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.’ That’s John 13:34. What does that tell us? Well Jesus says to love everyone as He has loved us. Because what did He do that was the ultimate sacrifice to show us His love? He died for us to forgive our sins. That’s pretty big. Now I’m not saying you die for your enemies, but just show them love like Jesus does.” He walks to the podium and sifts through the Bible and looks up.
“Now this verse I hold close to my heart. ‘This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.’ That’s John 15:12-13. It’s about saying the same thing the other did, but now He’s saying to lay down your life for your friends.
“Our highest calling is to spread the Word of the Gospel and help others grow in Christ. We should be passionately concerned about introducing people to Jesus. Along the same lines, we should be passionately concerned about other believers' spiritual welfare. Jesus loved His enemies. Make Him your example on how to live. I know none of us are perfect, there was and only is one perfect person. Jesus.
“Realize that your enemies may just be acting like that to you out of something within. They do not necessarily hate you. They might just be going through something and are lashing out on you. However, if someone insults you or dislikes you, respond in a Christ-like manner. Don't take things personally or give in to hurt feelings and let your emotions control you. Instead, see the other person as someone with a problem who needs God's help and your prayers. Forgive even if your enemy does not apologize. Follow Jesus' example: ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’ Follow Stephen's example: ‘Then he fell on his knees and cried out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." When he had said this, he fell asleep.’
“Pray for your enemies. When you feel irritated about someone: Pray for the other person's needs. Pray that God will help you forgive. Pray that God will help you love him or her. Remember Paul’s words about love. ‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.’”
Pastor Franklin ended with a prayer then I hear a round of amen’s. I raise my head and see Charity Cook. I vow to use this sermon in practice with Charity. I realize I have not been really nice to Charity over the years and I need to change that. I think back to all those years and see when I had a chance to be nice I retorted back at her. I stand up with everyone else. I look and see Charity talking with a guy. I did not recognize him, but he’s probably new to the town. I decide I’ll reconcile with her later. I follow my family out to shake hands with Pastor Franklin. When I reach him I shake his hand. “Pastor it was an amazing sermon. I realized I need to be more like Jesus in this area. Thank you.” He smiles.
“You’re welcome Elizabeth. I hoped to reach people. I’m glad I did.” He squeezes my hand and releases my hand then reaches to shakes hands with Arthur. I walk out and feel the cold mountain air on my face. Looking up to the mountains I always feel God with me. Looking at the mountains I feel like I can do anything. I breathe a prayer of thanks to God for everything in my life.
God bless!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Chapter Seven
Chapter 7
New Years Eve 1890
“Dear, why don’t you wear that brown dress that Charity gave you for your birthday for tonight’s service?” Ma asked me while she was working on her needlepoint in the parlor. I have yet to wear that dress for it makes me look like a frumpy horse.
“Ma, I was planning on wearing my green silk dress. I think it looks great with my eyes.”
I just hoped Ma agreed and says yes. I stopped my knitting. I looked into the eyes of the one woman that could make me feel safe or make me want to hide under the covers. Ma smiled, though small it was a smile. Ma rarely smiled. She felt adults should not show emotion it was a weakness. I on the other hand felt it was a strength. Showing your emotions to me help me cope with the world. She put down her needlepoint and took my hand.
“Dear, you may wear your green dress. Just promise me you’ll wear the brown dress to next Sunday’s service.” Might as well agree to it.
“I promise.” She released my hand and continued her needlepoint. I pick up my knitting and resumed knitting a scarf for Gamma.
I cannot say why I want to wear the green dress. It was my best dress, and it really brought out my eyes. I refuse to admit I want to wear it for Will. It’s simply just a coincidence that it’s Will’s favorite color. I wonder what would be Will’s reaction when he saw me in the dress. Would he like it or completely ignore it? Would I see the sparkle in his eyes I love oh so much?
Whoa, where did that come from? I felt the red creeping up my neck all the way up to my hairline. I so hope Ma do not notice the sudden color in my complexion. I ducked my head trying to hide it. I peek a look a Ma under my lashes. She’s still engrossed in her needlepoint. I inwardly exhale. She did not notice. I would get an onslaught of questions if she saw. I pick up my knitting and pack it up in the basket. I need fresh air. I stand up and head towards the door, hoping Ma does not question me. Ma looks up at me with her brows up in silent question. I smile. “I need some fresh air I shall finish the scarf later.” I quickly make an exit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I felt rather than saw Will jogging toward me. I sit on the porch swing looking towards the mountains. They look so beautiful at this time; the sun was almost behind them. This was like a tradition with me. On New Year’s Eve I always sit on the porch and watch the sun go down. I sit there thinking of the past year, and what is to come in the next.
The sunset is gorgeous tonight. It’s as if the colors and intensity of the light is just enough to calm you. The sun is like a great big romantic, inspirational fire in the sky.
It’s as if a powerful symphony was quieting down, becoming more emotional and beautiful as it dies down. Its rays seem friendly. They remind me of an old friend, waving goodbye to you. With it’s fingers of pink and purple waving goodbye.
I hear boots on the boards of the porch and my heart does a flip. My heart needs to stop doing this. I refuse to look into those eyes, so much like mine. The steps slow down and soon stop in front of me. I continue to look at the sunset. The sun is now completely behind the mountains and the last rays of sun is slowly descending down. I see the first star blinking in the sky.
I know Will is still standing there but I don’t think my mind could handle it. I glance at Will under my lashes and see he is not staring at the sunset but at me. I feel the blush creep up my neck again. I quickly turn my eyes from him and look again at the mountains. I feel Will sigh in my soul. How do I have such a connection with him?
I feel Will look at me and then slowly walk to the porch swing, I feel him sit down. I finally sum up enough courage to look at Will. I slowly look up. He’s staring at me again! What’s that emotion in his eyes? Endearment? Affection? Dare I think love? No, that can’t be love. He slowly smiles. I feel my lip twitching up of its own accord. I need to break the connection but I can’t make myself do it. Will leans ever so slightly forward. I need to look away and move away. I quickly look away and stand up. I need to walk away, I need to be able to breath normally again.
I run off the porch to the barn, hoping he does not follow. I walk into the barn out of breath. I hunch over and grab my knees trying to catch my breath. I know I should be inside with my family, but I just need some time to myself. I need time to sort through what happened on the porch or lack there of. I can’t believe what Will almost did. Can he actually have feelings for me? I refuse to contemplate what happened.
I see Shining Star in her stall. I usually feel better once I brush Shining Star. I pick up a brush and head towards her stall. Shining star is about to foal any day now. Shining Star whinnies when she sees me. I step into her stall and gradually brush her and whisper calming things to her. Shining Star is a great confidante for people. I always come to her to talk to. Best part is she does not judge me.
I hear a noise behind me and my heart flutters. How does my heart automatically know who it is? I turn around to see Will in the doorway of the barn. The light in the barn illuminates his sandy colored hair to a golden color. Will slowly walks towards me. I drop the brush in my hand and step out of the stall. I meet him halfway. He clears his throat and puts his hands in his pockets. I recognize the movement as what he does when he’s nervous. I find it quite endearing that he’s nervous to be near me. I smile to try to help him not be so nervous. His smile is more of a nervous smile. He looks down ad clears his throat again. “Lizzy?”
“Yes, Will?”
“I uh, well, I uh, what I’m trying to say is, uh,” He clears his throat again. “Lizzy, you’re not making this any easier.” He smiles his amazing smile.
“Making what any easier, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“What I’ve been trying to say is, uh,” he laughs nervously. He reaches for my hand and I gave it to him. “Lizzy,-”
“What’s going on in here?” Pa’s face was grim and his eyes radiated anger.
New Years Eve 1890
“Dear, why don’t you wear that brown dress that Charity gave you for your birthday for tonight’s service?” Ma asked me while she was working on her needlepoint in the parlor. I have yet to wear that dress for it makes me look like a frumpy horse.
“Ma, I was planning on wearing my green silk dress. I think it looks great with my eyes.”
I just hoped Ma agreed and says yes. I stopped my knitting. I looked into the eyes of the one woman that could make me feel safe or make me want to hide under the covers. Ma smiled, though small it was a smile. Ma rarely smiled. She felt adults should not show emotion it was a weakness. I on the other hand felt it was a strength. Showing your emotions to me help me cope with the world. She put down her needlepoint and took my hand.
“Dear, you may wear your green dress. Just promise me you’ll wear the brown dress to next Sunday’s service.” Might as well agree to it.
“I promise.” She released my hand and continued her needlepoint. I pick up my knitting and resumed knitting a scarf for Gamma.
I cannot say why I want to wear the green dress. It was my best dress, and it really brought out my eyes. I refuse to admit I want to wear it for Will. It’s simply just a coincidence that it’s Will’s favorite color. I wonder what would be Will’s reaction when he saw me in the dress. Would he like it or completely ignore it? Would I see the sparkle in his eyes I love oh so much?
Whoa, where did that come from? I felt the red creeping up my neck all the way up to my hairline. I so hope Ma do not notice the sudden color in my complexion. I ducked my head trying to hide it. I peek a look a Ma under my lashes. She’s still engrossed in her needlepoint. I inwardly exhale. She did not notice. I would get an onslaught of questions if she saw. I pick up my knitting and pack it up in the basket. I need fresh air. I stand up and head towards the door, hoping Ma does not question me. Ma looks up at me with her brows up in silent question. I smile. “I need some fresh air I shall finish the scarf later.” I quickly make an exit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I felt rather than saw Will jogging toward me. I sit on the porch swing looking towards the mountains. They look so beautiful at this time; the sun was almost behind them. This was like a tradition with me. On New Year’s Eve I always sit on the porch and watch the sun go down. I sit there thinking of the past year, and what is to come in the next.
The sunset is gorgeous tonight. It’s as if the colors and intensity of the light is just enough to calm you. The sun is like a great big romantic, inspirational fire in the sky.
It’s as if a powerful symphony was quieting down, becoming more emotional and beautiful as it dies down. Its rays seem friendly. They remind me of an old friend, waving goodbye to you. With it’s fingers of pink and purple waving goodbye.
I hear boots on the boards of the porch and my heart does a flip. My heart needs to stop doing this. I refuse to look into those eyes, so much like mine. The steps slow down and soon stop in front of me. I continue to look at the sunset. The sun is now completely behind the mountains and the last rays of sun is slowly descending down. I see the first star blinking in the sky.
I know Will is still standing there but I don’t think my mind could handle it. I glance at Will under my lashes and see he is not staring at the sunset but at me. I feel the blush creep up my neck again. I quickly turn my eyes from him and look again at the mountains. I feel Will sigh in my soul. How do I have such a connection with him?
I feel Will look at me and then slowly walk to the porch swing, I feel him sit down. I finally sum up enough courage to look at Will. I slowly look up. He’s staring at me again! What’s that emotion in his eyes? Endearment? Affection? Dare I think love? No, that can’t be love. He slowly smiles. I feel my lip twitching up of its own accord. I need to break the connection but I can’t make myself do it. Will leans ever so slightly forward. I need to look away and move away. I quickly look away and stand up. I need to walk away, I need to be able to breath normally again.
I run off the porch to the barn, hoping he does not follow. I walk into the barn out of breath. I hunch over and grab my knees trying to catch my breath. I know I should be inside with my family, but I just need some time to myself. I need time to sort through what happened on the porch or lack there of. I can’t believe what Will almost did. Can he actually have feelings for me? I refuse to contemplate what happened.
I see Shining Star in her stall. I usually feel better once I brush Shining Star. I pick up a brush and head towards her stall. Shining star is about to foal any day now. Shining Star whinnies when she sees me. I step into her stall and gradually brush her and whisper calming things to her. Shining Star is a great confidante for people. I always come to her to talk to. Best part is she does not judge me.
I hear a noise behind me and my heart flutters. How does my heart automatically know who it is? I turn around to see Will in the doorway of the barn. The light in the barn illuminates his sandy colored hair to a golden color. Will slowly walks towards me. I drop the brush in my hand and step out of the stall. I meet him halfway. He clears his throat and puts his hands in his pockets. I recognize the movement as what he does when he’s nervous. I find it quite endearing that he’s nervous to be near me. I smile to try to help him not be so nervous. His smile is more of a nervous smile. He looks down ad clears his throat again. “Lizzy?”
“Yes, Will?”
“I uh, well, I uh, what I’m trying to say is, uh,” He clears his throat again. “Lizzy, you’re not making this any easier.” He smiles his amazing smile.
“Making what any easier, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“What I’ve been trying to say is, uh,” he laughs nervously. He reaches for my hand and I gave it to him. “Lizzy,-”
“What’s going on in here?” Pa’s face was grim and his eyes radiated anger.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Chapter Six
Chapter 6
Christmas Eve 1890
“It’s snowing!” Anna exclaimed as she looked out the parlor window. She had her nose pressed to the glass of the window. She ran to me and looked at me excitedly. “Lizzy, it’s snowing! Can you believe it! Snow on Christmas Eve.” She grabbed my hand. I laughed at her enthusiastic behavior.
“Yes Anna it is snowing I see that, maybe after you finish knitting your mittens you can go out.” I replied to her happy face.
“Will you go out with me? Please?” Anna pleaded.
“I suppose I can, only after you finish your mittens. You cannot go out without mittens.”
“Oh, I’ll hurry and finish I want to go out in the snow! We can make snow angels and a snowman and have a snowball fight!”
I laughed at her little girl excitement. She sat back down on the window seat and worked at her mittens. I was embroidering a handkerchief for Pa, Gampa, Mr. John, Arthur and Will. Since Mr. John and Will had no family around, they spent Christmas with us. I was embroidering their initials onto the handkerchiefs.
I had Pa’s, Gampa’s, Arthur’s and Mr. John’s finished. Pa’s was a Robin’s egg blue with a trimming and initials of indigo thread. I stitched T.S.W Thomas Silas Winthorpe. Gampa’s was gray and white thread trimming and initials. I stitched J.R.W Joel Richard Wilkes. Arthur’s was a cardinal red with a scarlet trimming and initials. I stitched A.J.J Arthur James Jenkins. Mr. John’s was a bronze with a sepia trimming and initials. I stitched J.L.D John Lee Duncan.
I purposefully put Will’s last, seeing how my weird reaction to him lately. I picked up the handkerchief I had made for him. I made it in his favorite color green. The hankie was an emerald green, and I bordered it with olive green thread. I started his initials with the same olive green thread starting with the W. I slowly stitched out the W.L.D. It stood for William Lee Duncan. He had his father’s middle name. I finished off the D and snipped the thread and looked at it.
I placed it in the basket I had the others in and stood up. Anna was engrossed in her knitting so I left the parlor to put the basket in my room. I walked into the hallway to see Will standing right there. I quickly hid his handkerchief under the others. I flashed a smile his way then ran up the stairs. I walked into my room closed the door, dropped the basket and placed my hand over my fluttering heart. Why do I have this reaction to him? I know I promised Anna to go out in the snow with her but if Will’s out there I don’t know what I’ll do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I heard a knock on my door and jumped. I was being silly. Like Will would actually be at my door. I placed the book I was reading on the table near the chair. When I sat down to read I was hoping to be engrossed in Jane Austen’s words I’d forget my problems. I loved Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen. I have all of Jane Austen’s books. I tried to focus on the words in the book but never could. Usually I could sit and read for hours at a time. I can get so engrossed in a book I forget everything around me. Ma always complained I spent too much time dreaming and reading. I got my love of reading from Gamma. I always loved reading romances.
I walked to the door and pulled it open. Gamma was at my door. My face lit up and I smiled. Gamma always seemed to know when I needed her. I welcomed her in and she sat on the settee near the chair I just vacated. I sat down again.
Gamma smiled at me and that was her que to me to tell her what’s wrong. She always knew when I came to read in my room I was distressed. I could not bring myself to say what’s on my mind. How could I start? When I came home months ago I started having these weird feelings for my best friend I’ve known for ten years. I looked down at my hands in my lap. Gamma cleared her throat giving me another que. I looked up into her smiling face and knew I could tell her.
“Gamma how do you always know when I need you?” I asked my wise grandmother.
“Experience Dearie, I may be an old withered lady, but I know more than any of you give me credit for.” She smiled. “So, Dearie, what is it that’s making that pretty little head confused.”
I took a deep breath and launched into the long story. Me coming home seeing Will, having these weird flutters in my stomach and heart. Feeling jealousy seeing Charity all over Will. I felt I could tell her anything I saw nothing but compassion and wisdom in her eyes. Not judgment, condemnation, or pity. Just compassion and love for her granddaughter. I finished with the talk Will and I almost had if it was not for Anna. I took a deep breath and looked into the eyes so much like mine except those eyes have seen more of the world than I knew. She sighed slightly and smiled.
“Now Gamma what’s going through your pretty little head?”
“Lizzy, Dear, as much as I know you don’t want to have these feelings for Will. I know you’ve been friends for ten years, but it sounds like you’re experiencing young love.”
“But, Gamma, I can’t love Will he’s my friend that’ll make things so much more complicated between us. It’s already strained.” I sighed and slumped back in the chair. Sometimes Gamma’s talks made me feel worse, in a good way of course.
“Sweetie, as much as your head says that your heart is saying something completely different. Did I ever tell you how I and Grandpa met?”
“No.” I replied.
“Well, it was in 1861, he was twenty-two and I was twenty. I was in town visiting some friends. I was from New York, he was from Tennessee. Of course you’ve heard your Grandpa the War Between the States started around there. It was wrong to talk to a Southerner if you were a Northerner. Well I met him at a ball my friends were throwing to send off their men to fight the Yankees. I was sitting in the corner feeling like I did not belong there. I was the only Northerner there. Well, your Grandpa came walking up in his Rebel-err South uniform. Excuse me Lizzy; Dear it seems I still have some Northerner in me. Well, he came up and you never can resist a man in uniform Dear, it’s hard. Anyway, I saw him walking up to me and wondered what a Rebel was doing heading towards me. I know he did not know I was a Northerner. He came up and bowed and asked for my hand for a dance. I was afraid to reply he might hear my accent Dear, and walk off. So I just nodded. He took my hand and led me to the dance floor. He asked my name and I had to reply then. I took a chance and replied ‘Mary-Lou Swift’. He looked at me with amusement in his eyes. ‘A Northerner eh?’ He said. I nodded and smiled. ‘Joel Wilkes at your service ma’am.’ He smiled and I was hooked.
“Well, he did not have to leave to fight my people yet so we saw each other a lot. He took my horse riding, on a boat, on picnics. He really wooed me. I fell in love in four short weeks. I knew he felt the same so I was just waiting. I sent a letter to my folks saying I was staying in Tennessee, for more time then I thought. They did not approve but seeing as how I was twenty there was not much they could do. Well, on the fifth week I knew him he asked for my hand in marriage. I did not know what to say. My parents would have been livid. Well, Lizzy, when you know its love there’s no time like the present time. I said yes and we were married in couple days. He went off to fight for the South and I staid in Tennessee; I fell in love with his state as fell as him. I sent a letter saying I had married, and I got an upsetting letter back. I ignored it and I have never talked to my folks again. What I’m trying to say is, when you its love there’s no denying it sweetie. Think of what I said today Dear, and decide. Just know I love you sweetie and I would not tell you anything just for fun. It’s for you.” She got up kissed my cheek patted it and left me to ponder what she said.
God bless!
Christmas Eve 1890
“It’s snowing!” Anna exclaimed as she looked out the parlor window. She had her nose pressed to the glass of the window. She ran to me and looked at me excitedly. “Lizzy, it’s snowing! Can you believe it! Snow on Christmas Eve.” She grabbed my hand. I laughed at her enthusiastic behavior.
“Yes Anna it is snowing I see that, maybe after you finish knitting your mittens you can go out.” I replied to her happy face.
“Will you go out with me? Please?” Anna pleaded.
“I suppose I can, only after you finish your mittens. You cannot go out without mittens.”
“Oh, I’ll hurry and finish I want to go out in the snow! We can make snow angels and a snowman and have a snowball fight!”
I laughed at her little girl excitement. She sat back down on the window seat and worked at her mittens. I was embroidering a handkerchief for Pa, Gampa, Mr. John, Arthur and Will. Since Mr. John and Will had no family around, they spent Christmas with us. I was embroidering their initials onto the handkerchiefs.
I had Pa’s, Gampa’s, Arthur’s and Mr. John’s finished. Pa’s was a Robin’s egg blue with a trimming and initials of indigo thread. I stitched T.S.W Thomas Silas Winthorpe. Gampa’s was gray and white thread trimming and initials. I stitched J.R.W Joel Richard Wilkes. Arthur’s was a cardinal red with a scarlet trimming and initials. I stitched A.J.J Arthur James Jenkins. Mr. John’s was a bronze with a sepia trimming and initials. I stitched J.L.D John Lee Duncan.
I purposefully put Will’s last, seeing how my weird reaction to him lately. I picked up the handkerchief I had made for him. I made it in his favorite color green. The hankie was an emerald green, and I bordered it with olive green thread. I started his initials with the same olive green thread starting with the W. I slowly stitched out the W.L.D. It stood for William Lee Duncan. He had his father’s middle name. I finished off the D and snipped the thread and looked at it.
I placed it in the basket I had the others in and stood up. Anna was engrossed in her knitting so I left the parlor to put the basket in my room. I walked into the hallway to see Will standing right there. I quickly hid his handkerchief under the others. I flashed a smile his way then ran up the stairs. I walked into my room closed the door, dropped the basket and placed my hand over my fluttering heart. Why do I have this reaction to him? I know I promised Anna to go out in the snow with her but if Will’s out there I don’t know what I’ll do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I heard a knock on my door and jumped. I was being silly. Like Will would actually be at my door. I placed the book I was reading on the table near the chair. When I sat down to read I was hoping to be engrossed in Jane Austen’s words I’d forget my problems. I loved Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen. I have all of Jane Austen’s books. I tried to focus on the words in the book but never could. Usually I could sit and read for hours at a time. I can get so engrossed in a book I forget everything around me. Ma always complained I spent too much time dreaming and reading. I got my love of reading from Gamma. I always loved reading romances.
I walked to the door and pulled it open. Gamma was at my door. My face lit up and I smiled. Gamma always seemed to know when I needed her. I welcomed her in and she sat on the settee near the chair I just vacated. I sat down again.
Gamma smiled at me and that was her que to me to tell her what’s wrong. She always knew when I came to read in my room I was distressed. I could not bring myself to say what’s on my mind. How could I start? When I came home months ago I started having these weird feelings for my best friend I’ve known for ten years. I looked down at my hands in my lap. Gamma cleared her throat giving me another que. I looked up into her smiling face and knew I could tell her.
“Gamma how do you always know when I need you?” I asked my wise grandmother.
“Experience Dearie, I may be an old withered lady, but I know more than any of you give me credit for.” She smiled. “So, Dearie, what is it that’s making that pretty little head confused.”
I took a deep breath and launched into the long story. Me coming home seeing Will, having these weird flutters in my stomach and heart. Feeling jealousy seeing Charity all over Will. I felt I could tell her anything I saw nothing but compassion and wisdom in her eyes. Not judgment, condemnation, or pity. Just compassion and love for her granddaughter. I finished with the talk Will and I almost had if it was not for Anna. I took a deep breath and looked into the eyes so much like mine except those eyes have seen more of the world than I knew. She sighed slightly and smiled.
“Now Gamma what’s going through your pretty little head?”
“Lizzy, Dear, as much as I know you don’t want to have these feelings for Will. I know you’ve been friends for ten years, but it sounds like you’re experiencing young love.”
“But, Gamma, I can’t love Will he’s my friend that’ll make things so much more complicated between us. It’s already strained.” I sighed and slumped back in the chair. Sometimes Gamma’s talks made me feel worse, in a good way of course.
“Sweetie, as much as your head says that your heart is saying something completely different. Did I ever tell you how I and Grandpa met?”
“No.” I replied.
“Well, it was in 1861, he was twenty-two and I was twenty. I was in town visiting some friends. I was from New York, he was from Tennessee. Of course you’ve heard your Grandpa the War Between the States started around there. It was wrong to talk to a Southerner if you were a Northerner. Well I met him at a ball my friends were throwing to send off their men to fight the Yankees. I was sitting in the corner feeling like I did not belong there. I was the only Northerner there. Well, your Grandpa came walking up in his Rebel-err South uniform. Excuse me Lizzy; Dear it seems I still have some Northerner in me. Well, he came up and you never can resist a man in uniform Dear, it’s hard. Anyway, I saw him walking up to me and wondered what a Rebel was doing heading towards me. I know he did not know I was a Northerner. He came up and bowed and asked for my hand for a dance. I was afraid to reply he might hear my accent Dear, and walk off. So I just nodded. He took my hand and led me to the dance floor. He asked my name and I had to reply then. I took a chance and replied ‘Mary-Lou Swift’. He looked at me with amusement in his eyes. ‘A Northerner eh?’ He said. I nodded and smiled. ‘Joel Wilkes at your service ma’am.’ He smiled and I was hooked.
“Well, he did not have to leave to fight my people yet so we saw each other a lot. He took my horse riding, on a boat, on picnics. He really wooed me. I fell in love in four short weeks. I knew he felt the same so I was just waiting. I sent a letter to my folks saying I was staying in Tennessee, for more time then I thought. They did not approve but seeing as how I was twenty there was not much they could do. Well, on the fifth week I knew him he asked for my hand in marriage. I did not know what to say. My parents would have been livid. Well, Lizzy, when you know its love there’s no time like the present time. I said yes and we were married in couple days. He went off to fight for the South and I staid in Tennessee; I fell in love with his state as fell as him. I sent a letter saying I had married, and I got an upsetting letter back. I ignored it and I have never talked to my folks again. What I’m trying to say is, when you its love there’s no denying it sweetie. Think of what I said today Dear, and decide. Just know I love you sweetie and I would not tell you anything just for fun. It’s for you.” She got up kissed my cheek patted it and left me to ponder what she said.
God bless!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Chapter Five
Chapter 5
“Elizabeth darling, come stand next to me. It feels like forever since I’ve seen you. It’s almost like you’re avoiding me.” Charity Cook said in her fake southern accent with a little laugh. If only you knew. Will led me to our place and Charity stood back waiting then stood next to Will.
“Why Will, how’s that mustang you were training last week? He looked awful big and scary, I was afraid he’d hurt you.” Charity commented holding onto Will’s arm.
Why was she acting like this with Will? I kept my eyes on her the entire practice. She kept leaning on Will and kept her hand on his arm, and he did not care! Why! I should not care if she likes Will, and if he likes her as well fine. I’ve more important things to do than to watch them. I felt this little pang in my stomach, it felt like a knife in my stomach. I continued to mess up, because I kept my eye on Charity and how she fawned on Will the entire practice. Winnie was at my side and she nudged me when she noticed I messed up. I could not keep my focus on the words of the carols; instead it was on Will and Charity. I should be happy for them that they are obviously sweet on each other.
At the end of the practice Pastor Franklin gave us time to socialize and have the refreshments his wife Lisa provided. I stood next to Winnie as we ate, keeping my eye on Will. I should just leave him alone but I could not help it. I was acting like a jealous ninny. It was ludicrous. Winnie must have caught on because she nudged me to get my attention. “Lizzy? Everything okay? You seem distracted.”
“Huh, what, oh, no I’m fine.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, just tired, I’ve been taking care of my Ma. So I’m tired.”
“Oh, yeah I heard how is she?”
“She’s getting stronger everyday. The coriander seeds Dot gave me really helped.”
“Good, hey Lizzy, is something going on with you and Will?”
“What? No, we’re just friends like always.”
“Okay, but just know I’m here if you want to talk. I will not judge you.”
“I’m fine Winnie.”
“I hope so.” How could I tell her I’ve been acting like a jealous ninny and feeling these weird feelings when I’m around him?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wandered around looking for Will. I was tired and did not feel cheery like I usually do at these things. I just felt like sulking in my room. I found him with a couple of boys with Charity. Great. Well Charity will just have to get over it, he was my ride not hers. “Will? I am ready to go.”
“Okay, come on.”
“Oh, Will do you have room in your buggy. Pastor Franklin was going to drive me but I don’t want to intrude on him, so will you take me home?” Charity intervened. What and intrude on us? I was waiting for that talk he wanted and now we can’t have it with her. We’d have to wait till we got home. He looked at me like he knew what I was thinking and silently asked.
With a sigh I replied. “We have room Charity; of course you can come home with us.” Will gave me a praising look and took my arm. Charity took his other arm and we strolled out.
“Hey, look at Will he got two little ladies!” One of the boys guffawed at him. They snickered and taunted Will. He turned around and stared at them.
“Yeah, I do, and I’m extremely lucky.” Will retorted. They looked like a child caught getting a cookie out of the cookie jar. I snickered at the faces they made. Charity glared at me but I did not look.
We walked to the buggy. Will was about to help Charity up but she shook her head saying I should be helped up first. Will shrugged and helped me up. I felt fluttering in my stomach and chose to ignore it. He helped Charity up and then grabbed the reins and climbed up. Charity grabbed his arm. I rolled my eyes and chose to not pay attention to them. It’s best if I look at the sky than at them.
The ride was bumpy and I rocked almost falling off. Every time it bumped Charity faked gasped and dug her nails into Will’s arm. It’s like she’s never been on a buggy before! The horses huffed and trotted on ignoring Charity. Good horses I thought. We were heading up to the end of town good almost home. I don’t think I could take anymore of this. I saw a glimmer of light in the distance. It was our home. I don’t care I’ll have Will drop me home than take her home. I’ve had enough of her company. “Will, slow down at our home. I shall get off at here. You can go on and take her home once I am off. It’ll be more room so Charity does not have to be squished.”
“Ya sure?”
“Positive slow down now.”
“Okay” he pulled on the reins and the horses came to a stop. I gathered my skirts and swung my feet off the edge. I felt the buggy being rocked and heard Will run to my side. I need to hurry and jump. I jumped too late he was there and caught me before I landed on the ground.
“Oh, my”. His arms tightened on me.
“I thought I told ya to let me help ya down?” He whispered in my ear. His breath tickled the tendrils of my hair that escaped my bun. With him this close I could forget everything in this world. It’s like time stopped and it was just me in his arms. With his lips so close I started thinking. How it would feel if his lips touched mine? Wait, I can’t think that. I pushed trying to get out of his grip. He released me and set me down on the ground. I touched my bun making sure it was still in place.
I heard Charity huff and gasp. I felt Charity’s penetrating glare in my back, but I did not look back. My cheeks felt like fire. What would Ma say if she saw this and heard my thoughts? She would be horrified.
I heard the buggy jolt and heard the clopping of the horses’ hooves. I stayed planted there where Will placed me. I needed to move, but I kept thinking how it felt being in his arms. A slow smile tugged at my lips and I placed my hands on my flaming cheeks. I made Charity jealous. Just by being in the arms of my best friend I made her jealous.
I skipped up the path humming the entire way. I felt like twirling around in a circle and singing. To think I’d feel like this with just being in his arms. I wonder if he feels the same. That thought made me stop. Did he feel the same? Or was me being in his arms just like any other day?
I made it to the wraparound porch and sat on the first step. Funny how one thought can change your entire mood. I did not want to go in yet, even though it was freezing outside. I don’t think I could face Ma or anyone when I’m like this. I need to calm down and think rationally. I need to stop thinking these ludicrous thoughts of me and Will. Will and I are just friends. Nothing more nothing less. Just friends.
Then why do I continue to feel a flip-flop in my rib cage and butterflies in my stomach? His smile always warms my heart, down to the deepest caverns of my soul. He always knows what to do to make me feel cherished. His smile gets me out of my melancholy moods. Could what I’m feeling be more than friendship? I do not know if I’ll ever know. He’s always secretive with his feelings.
When I came home months ago he seemed generally happy to see me. Was it because I’m his friend or he really has feelings for me? I remember when I left for finishing school four years ago the thing he whispered in my ear. “Don’t forget me while you’re in Boston.” I thought he meant remember to write to him. Maybe he meant something completely different. I replied “Willy, please like I could forget you.” He squeezed my hand and repeated “Don’t forget me.” I smiled and squeezed his hand “Willy I promise I’ll never forget you.” He smiled, hugged me and then walked away hiding his face. Back then I thought I saw tears in his eyes but I was not certain.
I heard in the distance horses’ hooves clopping on the path. I knew he was going to be here soon. I needed to collect myself before he got here. I inhaled and exhaled several times trying to calm my fluttering heart. How is it even hearing him coming my traitorous heart starts a fluttering? I should not have that kind of reaction to him. The buggy neared and then he pulled it to a stop.
He wrapped the reins on the hitching post then jumped down. He saw me sitting there and smiled. Another flip-flop. My stupid heart needs to stop acting like this. He walked to the step and looked down on me. I could feel his eyes on me. I could not look up. “Lizzy?” He murmured. He stooped down, lifted my chin with his forefinger so I looked him in his amazing green eyes. I was entranced in his eyes I could not look away. “Lizzy? Remember what I said when we arrived at the Church?”
“Yes, I remember.” I tried to look away but his eyes held me captive.
“I’d like to have that talk now before it gets too late.”
“Go ahead. Say what you wanted to say.”
“Lizzy, have you noticed there’s some connection between us?” I could not trust my voice right now so I nodded. “Well, there’s no way I can de-” He could not finish. We heard someone open the door and run out. He released my chin and stepped back.
“Lizzy!” Anna came running out. Fiddlesticks. She had to come out now of all times.
“Yes, Anna”
“I thought y’all would have been home by now. Ma said to come and see. I saw you two out here so I came to see you.”
“Well, you’ve seen me so you can go back in its cold out here Anna and you don’t have a wrap or a coat on.”
“I’m not cold.” Of course you’re not.
“Anna, please go inside. Ma has told you to stop eavesdropping on people’s conversations.”
“I’m not easedropping.”
“Eavesdropping Anna, and if you’re out here yes you are.”
“Sorry, but I wanted you to listen to me play Silent Night on the piano. Gamma and Gampa said I’m good.”
“I bet you are Anna. I’ll listen tomorrow I’m tired right now.”
“Then come inside silly.” She grabbed my hand and starting dragging me inside. I looked to Will and he was grinning at Anna shenanigans. He mouthed later and walked to take care of the horses. When will we ever get another time alone to talk?
God bless!
“Elizabeth darling, come stand next to me. It feels like forever since I’ve seen you. It’s almost like you’re avoiding me.” Charity Cook said in her fake southern accent with a little laugh. If only you knew. Will led me to our place and Charity stood back waiting then stood next to Will.
“Why Will, how’s that mustang you were training last week? He looked awful big and scary, I was afraid he’d hurt you.” Charity commented holding onto Will’s arm.
Why was she acting like this with Will? I kept my eyes on her the entire practice. She kept leaning on Will and kept her hand on his arm, and he did not care! Why! I should not care if she likes Will, and if he likes her as well fine. I’ve more important things to do than to watch them. I felt this little pang in my stomach, it felt like a knife in my stomach. I continued to mess up, because I kept my eye on Charity and how she fawned on Will the entire practice. Winnie was at my side and she nudged me when she noticed I messed up. I could not keep my focus on the words of the carols; instead it was on Will and Charity. I should be happy for them that they are obviously sweet on each other.
At the end of the practice Pastor Franklin gave us time to socialize and have the refreshments his wife Lisa provided. I stood next to Winnie as we ate, keeping my eye on Will. I should just leave him alone but I could not help it. I was acting like a jealous ninny. It was ludicrous. Winnie must have caught on because she nudged me to get my attention. “Lizzy? Everything okay? You seem distracted.”
“Huh, what, oh, no I’m fine.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, just tired, I’ve been taking care of my Ma. So I’m tired.”
“Oh, yeah I heard how is she?”
“She’s getting stronger everyday. The coriander seeds Dot gave me really helped.”
“Good, hey Lizzy, is something going on with you and Will?”
“What? No, we’re just friends like always.”
“Okay, but just know I’m here if you want to talk. I will not judge you.”
“I’m fine Winnie.”
“I hope so.” How could I tell her I’ve been acting like a jealous ninny and feeling these weird feelings when I’m around him?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wandered around looking for Will. I was tired and did not feel cheery like I usually do at these things. I just felt like sulking in my room. I found him with a couple of boys with Charity. Great. Well Charity will just have to get over it, he was my ride not hers. “Will? I am ready to go.”
“Okay, come on.”
“Oh, Will do you have room in your buggy. Pastor Franklin was going to drive me but I don’t want to intrude on him, so will you take me home?” Charity intervened. What and intrude on us? I was waiting for that talk he wanted and now we can’t have it with her. We’d have to wait till we got home. He looked at me like he knew what I was thinking and silently asked.
With a sigh I replied. “We have room Charity; of course you can come home with us.” Will gave me a praising look and took my arm. Charity took his other arm and we strolled out.
“Hey, look at Will he got two little ladies!” One of the boys guffawed at him. They snickered and taunted Will. He turned around and stared at them.
“Yeah, I do, and I’m extremely lucky.” Will retorted. They looked like a child caught getting a cookie out of the cookie jar. I snickered at the faces they made. Charity glared at me but I did not look.
We walked to the buggy. Will was about to help Charity up but she shook her head saying I should be helped up first. Will shrugged and helped me up. I felt fluttering in my stomach and chose to ignore it. He helped Charity up and then grabbed the reins and climbed up. Charity grabbed his arm. I rolled my eyes and chose to not pay attention to them. It’s best if I look at the sky than at them.
The ride was bumpy and I rocked almost falling off. Every time it bumped Charity faked gasped and dug her nails into Will’s arm. It’s like she’s never been on a buggy before! The horses huffed and trotted on ignoring Charity. Good horses I thought. We were heading up to the end of town good almost home. I don’t think I could take anymore of this. I saw a glimmer of light in the distance. It was our home. I don’t care I’ll have Will drop me home than take her home. I’ve had enough of her company. “Will, slow down at our home. I shall get off at here. You can go on and take her home once I am off. It’ll be more room so Charity does not have to be squished.”
“Ya sure?”
“Positive slow down now.”
“Okay” he pulled on the reins and the horses came to a stop. I gathered my skirts and swung my feet off the edge. I felt the buggy being rocked and heard Will run to my side. I need to hurry and jump. I jumped too late he was there and caught me before I landed on the ground.
“Oh, my”. His arms tightened on me.
“I thought I told ya to let me help ya down?” He whispered in my ear. His breath tickled the tendrils of my hair that escaped my bun. With him this close I could forget everything in this world. It’s like time stopped and it was just me in his arms. With his lips so close I started thinking. How it would feel if his lips touched mine? Wait, I can’t think that. I pushed trying to get out of his grip. He released me and set me down on the ground. I touched my bun making sure it was still in place.
I heard Charity huff and gasp. I felt Charity’s penetrating glare in my back, but I did not look back. My cheeks felt like fire. What would Ma say if she saw this and heard my thoughts? She would be horrified.
I heard the buggy jolt and heard the clopping of the horses’ hooves. I stayed planted there where Will placed me. I needed to move, but I kept thinking how it felt being in his arms. A slow smile tugged at my lips and I placed my hands on my flaming cheeks. I made Charity jealous. Just by being in the arms of my best friend I made her jealous.
I skipped up the path humming the entire way. I felt like twirling around in a circle and singing. To think I’d feel like this with just being in his arms. I wonder if he feels the same. That thought made me stop. Did he feel the same? Or was me being in his arms just like any other day?
I made it to the wraparound porch and sat on the first step. Funny how one thought can change your entire mood. I did not want to go in yet, even though it was freezing outside. I don’t think I could face Ma or anyone when I’m like this. I need to calm down and think rationally. I need to stop thinking these ludicrous thoughts of me and Will. Will and I are just friends. Nothing more nothing less. Just friends.
Then why do I continue to feel a flip-flop in my rib cage and butterflies in my stomach? His smile always warms my heart, down to the deepest caverns of my soul. He always knows what to do to make me feel cherished. His smile gets me out of my melancholy moods. Could what I’m feeling be more than friendship? I do not know if I’ll ever know. He’s always secretive with his feelings.
When I came home months ago he seemed generally happy to see me. Was it because I’m his friend or he really has feelings for me? I remember when I left for finishing school four years ago the thing he whispered in my ear. “Don’t forget me while you’re in Boston.” I thought he meant remember to write to him. Maybe he meant something completely different. I replied “Willy, please like I could forget you.” He squeezed my hand and repeated “Don’t forget me.” I smiled and squeezed his hand “Willy I promise I’ll never forget you.” He smiled, hugged me and then walked away hiding his face. Back then I thought I saw tears in his eyes but I was not certain.
I heard in the distance horses’ hooves clopping on the path. I knew he was going to be here soon. I needed to collect myself before he got here. I inhaled and exhaled several times trying to calm my fluttering heart. How is it even hearing him coming my traitorous heart starts a fluttering? I should not have that kind of reaction to him. The buggy neared and then he pulled it to a stop.
He wrapped the reins on the hitching post then jumped down. He saw me sitting there and smiled. Another flip-flop. My stupid heart needs to stop acting like this. He walked to the step and looked down on me. I could feel his eyes on me. I could not look up. “Lizzy?” He murmured. He stooped down, lifted my chin with his forefinger so I looked him in his amazing green eyes. I was entranced in his eyes I could not look away. “Lizzy? Remember what I said when we arrived at the Church?”
“Yes, I remember.” I tried to look away but his eyes held me captive.
“I’d like to have that talk now before it gets too late.”
“Go ahead. Say what you wanted to say.”
“Lizzy, have you noticed there’s some connection between us?” I could not trust my voice right now so I nodded. “Well, there’s no way I can de-” He could not finish. We heard someone open the door and run out. He released my chin and stepped back.
“Lizzy!” Anna came running out. Fiddlesticks. She had to come out now of all times.
“Yes, Anna”
“I thought y’all would have been home by now. Ma said to come and see. I saw you two out here so I came to see you.”
“Well, you’ve seen me so you can go back in its cold out here Anna and you don’t have a wrap or a coat on.”
“I’m not cold.” Of course you’re not.
“Anna, please go inside. Ma has told you to stop eavesdropping on people’s conversations.”
“I’m not easedropping.”
“Eavesdropping Anna, and if you’re out here yes you are.”
“Sorry, but I wanted you to listen to me play Silent Night on the piano. Gamma and Gampa said I’m good.”
“I bet you are Anna. I’ll listen tomorrow I’m tired right now.”
“Then come inside silly.” She grabbed my hand and starting dragging me inside. I looked to Will and he was grinning at Anna shenanigans. He mouthed later and walked to take care of the horses. When will we ever get another time alone to talk?
God bless!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Chapter Four
Chapter 4
Middle November 1890
I woke to the sound of birds singing merrily outside my window. I sat up in bed and swayed my feet off the side, and I rang for my ladies’ maid. Brigit my ladies’ maid entered with a curtsy. “What can I do for you m’am?”
“Help me dress Brigit for the day.”
“Yes m’am” Brigit walked to my closet and selected the clothes. Brigit first helped me out of my nightgown. “Hold on to the post of the bed m’am while I pull the strings.” Brigit helped me into my corset, and pulled the strings and tied them. Suddenly my mother’s ladies’ maid entered without even a curtsy she bustled in next to me with a frightened expression pasted on her face. “What is it Hannah?” I questioned Hannah. Still in my corset and chemise I pulled Hannah onto the bed and sat next to her. “Hannah tell me what’s wrong now!”
“Well, m’am I normally go about this time to help Mrs. Winthorpe to dress, because this is the time she normally is up.”
“And? Hannah just spit it out! Is it my mother?”
“Yes, she was still asleep when I went up there so I thought I’d just quietly pick out her clothes and refill the water basin for her to wash. But when I walked close enough to her bed she…I… Oh, Miss Elizabeth!” Hannah flung herself into my arms and sobbed. I put my arms around Hannah until her sobbing subsided to hiccoughs.
“Hannah, Hannah, please tell me what is it you saw?”
“Mrs. Winthorpe was so pale she looked dead! It did not look like she was breathing either.” Hannah went into another spell of sobbing until I comforted her again.
“Hannah, did you tell Pa of what you saw?”
“No, m’am I knew I should have but you are the first person I told.”
“Okay Hannah you must go tell father, and tell John the foreman to go get the doctor immediately okay? Can you do that for me?”
“Yes m’am” and Hannah ran out of the room toward Pa’s room.
“My! Do you think Mrs. Winthorpe will be okay?” Brigit questioned.
“Of course she will, do not talk like that Brigit!”
“I am sorry Miss.” Brigit hung her head down.
“Oh, fiddlesticks, I’m sorry Brigit I should not have used that tone with you, you’re just worried about Ma.”
“Yes m’am.”
Brigit helped me finish dressing and then pinned my hair. I was pre-occupied the entire time. I was worried about Ma, what was wrong. No one had come to tell me. As soon as Brigit finished pinning my hair I ran towards my parents’ room. I found my Ma lying on her bed, her face ashen. Doctor Morgan was next to the bed, obviously examining Ma. Pa was sitting in the chair next to the bed, his head in his hands. His shoulders shook telling me he was crying. Pa had never cried, I have never seen him cry. I walked slowly to the chair Pa was sitting in. I placed my hand on his shoulder and squatted next to the chair. Pa looked up at me and smiled sadly. He looked as if he aged at least ten years. His crow’s feet more pronounced. “Pa, what’s wrong?” I asked with tears swimming in my eyes.
“Doctor Morgan is still examining her. She’s still alive, just really weak.” Pa choked on the last words.
“Do not worry Pa, Ma’s strong she’ll get through whatever this is.” I tried to smile but failed. The Doctor went through everything he could and finished a couple minutes later. He closed his black bag and walked towards us.
“Mr. Winthorpe your wife has rheumatic fever. I would advise you go to Dot’s store and ask if she has anything for it. I personally have nothing that could help. Mrs. Winthorpe will be in a lot of pain, for four to six weeks. I can prescribe some laudanum for the pain, but that will not help internally. Dot might have something. Did Mrs. Winthorpe complain of having a sore throat before now?”
“Not that we know of. She kept her pain from us so we did not worry for her. Why?”
“Well, rheumatic fever usually starts with a sore throat, then progresses into the pain in the joints and fever. I would recommend going to Dot’s store and ask if she has anything. I gave her a dose of laudanum for now so she’ll asleep for a couple hours.”
“Thank you Dr. Morgan.” Pa thanked the Doctor and shaked hands with him. “Lizzy will you show him out and then get Will to take you to Dot’s store.”
“Yes, Pa I will.” I ushered the Doctor out. As we were heading down the stairs I asked the Doctor “Dr. Morgan will Ma be okay?”
“Elizabeth, your mother’s a very strong woman she will get through this. The best things you can do for her is get to Dot’s store and pray for her. It’s up to the Great Physician. But she’ll get through I know it.” He smiled sweetly at me.
I thanked him at the door and then ran towards the stable to find Will. It was chilly out and I forgot my shawl and heavy coat again. I was so worried for Ma my mind was preoccupied. I have to remember to put those things on. At least I had on my woolen petticoats and my heavy stockings on.
I found Will brushing a mustang in his stall. I ran to the stall, this is too much running for me. Stupid corset. I abhor this contraption. Why do women have to wear this? I looked up to see Will staring at me. I must look a sight. My eyes were red and swollen from crying. My hair pins fell out on my run so my hair was flowing down my back. He started to smile then saw my red and swollen eyes and the smile faded. “Lizzy?” He came to me and looked at me. “Lizzy what’s wrong?”
“Ma, Ma, Ma sh-she’s si-sic-sick, ne-nee-need to get to Do-Dot’s store.”
“Okay, come on Lizzy, I’ll take you. It’s gonna be okay.” He led me to the buggy helped me up and spread the buffalo blanket around me and then went to hitch up the horses. The entire ride to town he spoke comforting words to me. I only half listened. I knew he meant well but I could not stop thinking of Ma lying in her bed her face ashen. My tears fell silently down my face. The scenery meant nothing to me now. Ma might not be able to ever see any of this ever again. Did Dot ever tell anything of rheumatic fever before? I cannot recall if she did. Did people live from it? Will this cripple her? I need someone to answer these questions. As if he knew what I was thinking of Will asked me. “Do you know what your Ma is sick with?”
“Yes, rheumatic fever.”
“Ah, I see. My grandfather had that. I remember when I was a little boy he had it for about a month. After the month he was like his old self. Except for sometimes he had pain in his knee other than that he was fine.”
“Really? He was fine.”
“Yep, like his old self. Do not worry Lizzy your Ma will be fine.”
“I’m not worrying.”
“Lizzy, I know you. You’re probably trying to remember if Dot taught you anything about rheumatic fever, am I right?”
With a sigh I replied “Yes I am. I’m sorry I’m worried for her.”
He patted my hand and smiled at me. That same smile that lately has made my heart flip-flop. I had the same feeling. This whole thing needs to stop. I have too much to think of, to have this weird feeling. I won’t think about it today I’ll think about it tomorrow or weeks from now when Ma is better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Ma here’s your tea; you need to drink every drop. It’ll help you.” I said to Ma going into her room.
It’s been four weeks since Ma was really sick with rheumatic fever. She’s gotten stronger and better each day. Dot had given me crushed coriander seeds to make a tea for Ma. I have given her the tea every day since that day four weeks ago. It has helped with her sore muscles.
“Lizzy, thank you so much, I’m feeling so much better today. I’ll be right as rain by next week.”
“That’s good but Dot’s orders you stay in bed for the first four weeks. So by the fifth you can walk around.”
“I have and you can go to the church choir practice tonight with Will. Aren’t you going to be practicing for the Christmas pageant?”
“Yes, but I wanted to be with you to take care of you.”
“You’ve been missing out on all social things since I got sick go out have fun.”
“You sure Ma?”
“Positive, now go get ready, and tell Will you’re going.”
“Thank you Ma, drink your tea. Bye Ma” I leaned over and kissed her cheek and ran out. I did not want to say anything but I had been wanting to go tonight. Now I can go. I could not wait Church choir was always my favorite pastime. Now I can be in the Christmas pageant. Nothing could ruin this night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“God rest ye merry, gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember, Christ, our Saviour
Was born on Christmas day
To save us all from Satan's power…”
The words of the favorite Christmas carol came through the door of the church as me and Will pulled into the yard of the church. How I loved Christmas time. I heard Pastor Franklin’s wife Lisa Franklin playing the piano. Will stopped the buggy, and wrapped the reins around the hitching post. He jumped down and came to my side. I was in the process of jumping down myself when he frowned at me. I rolled my eyes and let him help me down. “Really Will I can do it myself, I don’t need your help.” I huffed as another flip-flop hit my heart. When will this stop?
“Maybe, but at least let me be a gentleman and help ya.”
He smiled that amazing smile. He’s got to stop having that strange effect on me. I smiled sweetly in return but quickly looked away. Does he smile like that to everybody or is it reserved just for me? I wonder what it would feel like to be wrapped in those arms. Whoa, where did that thought come from? I got to stop thinking these thoughts. If anybody got hold of my thoughts right now I’d forever be embarrassed. Lord, help me get these thoughts out of my head. I looked around and saw Will looking strangely at me. Oh, no please tell me I’m blushing. “What?”
“Ya coming?”
“Yes, I’m just admiring the music coming from the Church and enjoying the sight of the mountains.”
“Then why were ya staring at the ground?”
“Is it any of your business?” I huffed again and walked towards the Church. I walked past Will not even looking at him. He reached out and grabbed my arm to stop me. “Let go of me, Will seriously don’t make me yell.”
“Lizzy please, can we talk before we go in there?”
“No, it’s cold and we are already late.” I shrugged out of his grip and walked up the steps to the Church.
“Then can we talk afterwards?”
“I don’t see anything wrong with that. I guess, but make it short I want to get home to Ma right after. I like to check on her before I turn in for the night.”
“Of course it’ll be short.”
“Good.” He walked up and took the steps two at a time. He held onto my elbow ushering me in.
When we walked in everyone stopped what they were doing and stared. That’s when I saw her. What was she doing here? Like she seriously cared for the Church Christmas pageant, she never cared in past years. She was in the front row where me and Will always stood. Great.
God Bless!
Middle November 1890
I woke to the sound of birds singing merrily outside my window. I sat up in bed and swayed my feet off the side, and I rang for my ladies’ maid. Brigit my ladies’ maid entered with a curtsy. “What can I do for you m’am?”
“Help me dress Brigit for the day.”
“Yes m’am” Brigit walked to my closet and selected the clothes. Brigit first helped me out of my nightgown. “Hold on to the post of the bed m’am while I pull the strings.” Brigit helped me into my corset, and pulled the strings and tied them. Suddenly my mother’s ladies’ maid entered without even a curtsy she bustled in next to me with a frightened expression pasted on her face. “What is it Hannah?” I questioned Hannah. Still in my corset and chemise I pulled Hannah onto the bed and sat next to her. “Hannah tell me what’s wrong now!”
“Well, m’am I normally go about this time to help Mrs. Winthorpe to dress, because this is the time she normally is up.”
“And? Hannah just spit it out! Is it my mother?”
“Yes, she was still asleep when I went up there so I thought I’d just quietly pick out her clothes and refill the water basin for her to wash. But when I walked close enough to her bed she…I… Oh, Miss Elizabeth!” Hannah flung herself into my arms and sobbed. I put my arms around Hannah until her sobbing subsided to hiccoughs.
“Hannah, Hannah, please tell me what is it you saw?”
“Mrs. Winthorpe was so pale she looked dead! It did not look like she was breathing either.” Hannah went into another spell of sobbing until I comforted her again.
“Hannah, did you tell Pa of what you saw?”
“No, m’am I knew I should have but you are the first person I told.”
“Okay Hannah you must go tell father, and tell John the foreman to go get the doctor immediately okay? Can you do that for me?”
“Yes m’am” and Hannah ran out of the room toward Pa’s room.
“My! Do you think Mrs. Winthorpe will be okay?” Brigit questioned.
“Of course she will, do not talk like that Brigit!”
“I am sorry Miss.” Brigit hung her head down.
“Oh, fiddlesticks, I’m sorry Brigit I should not have used that tone with you, you’re just worried about Ma.”
“Yes m’am.”
Brigit helped me finish dressing and then pinned my hair. I was pre-occupied the entire time. I was worried about Ma, what was wrong. No one had come to tell me. As soon as Brigit finished pinning my hair I ran towards my parents’ room. I found my Ma lying on her bed, her face ashen. Doctor Morgan was next to the bed, obviously examining Ma. Pa was sitting in the chair next to the bed, his head in his hands. His shoulders shook telling me he was crying. Pa had never cried, I have never seen him cry. I walked slowly to the chair Pa was sitting in. I placed my hand on his shoulder and squatted next to the chair. Pa looked up at me and smiled sadly. He looked as if he aged at least ten years. His crow’s feet more pronounced. “Pa, what’s wrong?” I asked with tears swimming in my eyes.
“Doctor Morgan is still examining her. She’s still alive, just really weak.” Pa choked on the last words.
“Do not worry Pa, Ma’s strong she’ll get through whatever this is.” I tried to smile but failed. The Doctor went through everything he could and finished a couple minutes later. He closed his black bag and walked towards us.
“Mr. Winthorpe your wife has rheumatic fever. I would advise you go to Dot’s store and ask if she has anything for it. I personally have nothing that could help. Mrs. Winthorpe will be in a lot of pain, for four to six weeks. I can prescribe some laudanum for the pain, but that will not help internally. Dot might have something. Did Mrs. Winthorpe complain of having a sore throat before now?”
“Not that we know of. She kept her pain from us so we did not worry for her. Why?”
“Well, rheumatic fever usually starts with a sore throat, then progresses into the pain in the joints and fever. I would recommend going to Dot’s store and ask if she has anything. I gave her a dose of laudanum for now so she’ll asleep for a couple hours.”
“Thank you Dr. Morgan.” Pa thanked the Doctor and shaked hands with him. “Lizzy will you show him out and then get Will to take you to Dot’s store.”
“Yes, Pa I will.” I ushered the Doctor out. As we were heading down the stairs I asked the Doctor “Dr. Morgan will Ma be okay?”
“Elizabeth, your mother’s a very strong woman she will get through this. The best things you can do for her is get to Dot’s store and pray for her. It’s up to the Great Physician. But she’ll get through I know it.” He smiled sweetly at me.
I thanked him at the door and then ran towards the stable to find Will. It was chilly out and I forgot my shawl and heavy coat again. I was so worried for Ma my mind was preoccupied. I have to remember to put those things on. At least I had on my woolen petticoats and my heavy stockings on.
I found Will brushing a mustang in his stall. I ran to the stall, this is too much running for me. Stupid corset. I abhor this contraption. Why do women have to wear this? I looked up to see Will staring at me. I must look a sight. My eyes were red and swollen from crying. My hair pins fell out on my run so my hair was flowing down my back. He started to smile then saw my red and swollen eyes and the smile faded. “Lizzy?” He came to me and looked at me. “Lizzy what’s wrong?”
“Ma, Ma, Ma sh-she’s si-sic-sick, ne-nee-need to get to Do-Dot’s store.”
“Okay, come on Lizzy, I’ll take you. It’s gonna be okay.” He led me to the buggy helped me up and spread the buffalo blanket around me and then went to hitch up the horses. The entire ride to town he spoke comforting words to me. I only half listened. I knew he meant well but I could not stop thinking of Ma lying in her bed her face ashen. My tears fell silently down my face. The scenery meant nothing to me now. Ma might not be able to ever see any of this ever again. Did Dot ever tell anything of rheumatic fever before? I cannot recall if she did. Did people live from it? Will this cripple her? I need someone to answer these questions. As if he knew what I was thinking of Will asked me. “Do you know what your Ma is sick with?”
“Yes, rheumatic fever.”
“Ah, I see. My grandfather had that. I remember when I was a little boy he had it for about a month. After the month he was like his old self. Except for sometimes he had pain in his knee other than that he was fine.”
“Really? He was fine.”
“Yep, like his old self. Do not worry Lizzy your Ma will be fine.”
“I’m not worrying.”
“Lizzy, I know you. You’re probably trying to remember if Dot taught you anything about rheumatic fever, am I right?”
With a sigh I replied “Yes I am. I’m sorry I’m worried for her.”
He patted my hand and smiled at me. That same smile that lately has made my heart flip-flop. I had the same feeling. This whole thing needs to stop. I have too much to think of, to have this weird feeling. I won’t think about it today I’ll think about it tomorrow or weeks from now when Ma is better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Ma here’s your tea; you need to drink every drop. It’ll help you.” I said to Ma going into her room.
It’s been four weeks since Ma was really sick with rheumatic fever. She’s gotten stronger and better each day. Dot had given me crushed coriander seeds to make a tea for Ma. I have given her the tea every day since that day four weeks ago. It has helped with her sore muscles.
“Lizzy, thank you so much, I’m feeling so much better today. I’ll be right as rain by next week.”
“That’s good but Dot’s orders you stay in bed for the first four weeks. So by the fifth you can walk around.”
“I have and you can go to the church choir practice tonight with Will. Aren’t you going to be practicing for the Christmas pageant?”
“Yes, but I wanted to be with you to take care of you.”
“You’ve been missing out on all social things since I got sick go out have fun.”
“You sure Ma?”
“Positive, now go get ready, and tell Will you’re going.”
“Thank you Ma, drink your tea. Bye Ma” I leaned over and kissed her cheek and ran out. I did not want to say anything but I had been wanting to go tonight. Now I can go. I could not wait Church choir was always my favorite pastime. Now I can be in the Christmas pageant. Nothing could ruin this night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“God rest ye merry, gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember, Christ, our Saviour
Was born on Christmas day
To save us all from Satan's power…”
The words of the favorite Christmas carol came through the door of the church as me and Will pulled into the yard of the church. How I loved Christmas time. I heard Pastor Franklin’s wife Lisa Franklin playing the piano. Will stopped the buggy, and wrapped the reins around the hitching post. He jumped down and came to my side. I was in the process of jumping down myself when he frowned at me. I rolled my eyes and let him help me down. “Really Will I can do it myself, I don’t need your help.” I huffed as another flip-flop hit my heart. When will this stop?
“Maybe, but at least let me be a gentleman and help ya.”
He smiled that amazing smile. He’s got to stop having that strange effect on me. I smiled sweetly in return but quickly looked away. Does he smile like that to everybody or is it reserved just for me? I wonder what it would feel like to be wrapped in those arms. Whoa, where did that thought come from? I got to stop thinking these thoughts. If anybody got hold of my thoughts right now I’d forever be embarrassed. Lord, help me get these thoughts out of my head. I looked around and saw Will looking strangely at me. Oh, no please tell me I’m blushing. “What?”
“Ya coming?”
“Yes, I’m just admiring the music coming from the Church and enjoying the sight of the mountains.”
“Then why were ya staring at the ground?”
“Is it any of your business?” I huffed again and walked towards the Church. I walked past Will not even looking at him. He reached out and grabbed my arm to stop me. “Let go of me, Will seriously don’t make me yell.”
“Lizzy please, can we talk before we go in there?”
“No, it’s cold and we are already late.” I shrugged out of his grip and walked up the steps to the Church.
“Then can we talk afterwards?”
“I don’t see anything wrong with that. I guess, but make it short I want to get home to Ma right after. I like to check on her before I turn in for the night.”
“Of course it’ll be short.”
“Good.” He walked up and took the steps two at a time. He held onto my elbow ushering me in.
When we walked in everyone stopped what they were doing and stared. That’s when I saw her. What was she doing here? Like she seriously cared for the Church Christmas pageant, she never cared in past years. She was in the front row where me and Will always stood. Great.
God Bless!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Chapter Three
Chapter 3
After I had unpacked and rested awhile I started to dress for the evening in the lions den. It felt weird having my maidservant helping me dress after four years of doing it myself. I did not know what to wear, for Charity Cook always looked grand. Her hair always perfect and her dresses always the right color to enhance her skin color, her hair color or the color of her eyes. What dress did I have that did that to me? That green velvet dress? It just intensified my eye color.
I do not know how long I stood in front of my cherry wood armoire looking at my dresses. I disliked everything in it. Nothing stood out compared to Charity’s fine closet. I walked over to my door and rang for Brigit my maidservant. She was here in no time.
“Yes Miss Elizabeth?”
“Brigit, I have nothing to wear!”
“Ma’am I’m sure you have something in your armoire.”
“Nothing pretty enough for going to the Cooks’ house. Charity might as well insult me on my clothing now.”
“Miss, I know my opinion means nothing but I fancy your navy blue evening gown with the train. It looks great with your black hair and green eyes. You’ll be the bell of the ball even though it ain’t a ball.” Brigit giggled slightly.
“Thanks Brigit I think I shall wear that tonight.”
“And Miss?”
“Hmm?”
“You should not mind what Miss Charity wears. It does not matter either way she ain’t a pretty woman on the inside. You Miss are pretty inside and out.”
“Oh, thanks Brigit that’s exactly what I needed to hear.”
“You’re welcome Miss now let’s get you dressed up.” Brigit helped me into my navy blue evening gown and curled and arranged my hair at the crown, with long ringlets falling down the nape of my neck. The front hair she pulled straight back, and parted it in the center and then curled those as well. As much as I hate being in the same room with Charity, right now I felt there was nothing she could do to hurt me. I felt pretty and that was all that mattered. “Thank you Brigit…for everything.”
“You’re welcome Miss.” Brigit left me to ponder over my looks. Brigit was right; the navy blue dress really did look great with my dark hair. I twirled around in it like I did when I was a little girl.
I knew I was expected downstairs soon so I took one last look at my reflection in the wall mirror and hastily walked down the stairs. When I reached the bottom step I saw Anna was waiting and Jose -err-Josephine. I have to remember she’s Josephine. Arthur Josephine’s husband and Pa and Ma were also ready. George the butler was standing in the corner. “Where’s Grandpa and Gamma?” I asked when I stepped off the stairs.
“Grandma is feeling under the weather right now so she and Grandpa will be staying home this evening.” Ma replied.
“What’s wrong with her? Maybe Dot has something that could help.”
“Dot?” Josephine gave a little unladylike snort. “Please Lizzy; you don’t seriously think any of her things will help Grandma do you.” Josephine sneered.
“Josephine, Dot’s tinctures and poultice’s help a number of people with illnesses. I’m sure she has something that’ll help Gamma.” I retorted. Josephine just huffed and rolled her eyes.
“Girls, be nice to each other. Lizzy, we do not have time to run over to Dot’s store right now. If Grandma is still feeling ill tomorrow, you may go over there and ask if she has something.” Ma stated to me then looked at Josephine and said. “Dot is one of our dearest friends and her herbs have helped with a number of things. She is wise in the herbs so she knows what she’s doing.” Josephine stood there stunned. I guess little snooty finally got reprimanded. It’s about time. “Now, if we are all ready let’s get into our carriages and head out to the Cooks’.” We all piled into our carriages and headed out. I felt unsettled. I wish I was the one feeling ill. That way I could miss seeing Charity Cook.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As we were pulling up to the Cooks’ house a scripture came to mind, one that Dot had taught me. “But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.” I really need to live by this especially when I’m around Charity. I shall practice this starting tonight. I shall be nice to her and bless her and pray for her tonight in my nightly prayers. That was the only thing God has commanded me to do regarding Charity.
Lord, help me say the right things, and keep my thoughts to myself! I prayed as I exited the carriage and headed towards doom. Will had accompanied us to the Cooks’ for he took care of the horses. He was the one who helped me from the carriage. I thanked him and wished I could linger out here with him instead of being in there.
The whole Cook family of three was waiting outside for us. Mrs. Sophie Cook looked lovely in a deep lavender evening gown with her golden hair so much like Charity’s, arranged on top of her head in curls. She reminded me of a royal queen addressing her subjects. Next to her was Mr. Jonathan Cook. He looked powerful and majestic standing there with his hand in his vest pocket. He wore spectacles on the bridge of his too long of a nose. Next to Mr. Cook was her. Charity. Of course she looked good in a soft pink velvet skirt and a white bodice covered in Spanish lace. Her curly golden hair was arranged in ringlets with a pink hat placed on top. They looked like a royal family, much less like a common family in Whispering Hills Tennessee.
“Welcome to our home. Do not just stand there come one in.” Mrs. Cook welcomed us. “Elizabeth darling how are you?”
“I’m fine thank you Mrs. Cook.” I replied.
Mrs. Cook ushered us inside. The entry hall walls were lined up with portraits of them. Also on the walls were paintings of past Cooks. On the left and rights walls were doors leading towards other rooms. Straight across from the front door was the winding staircase leading to the second story.
Mrs. Cook led us to the sitting room, where the ladies would chat and catch up. I did not care for such things for all the girls talk about is the latest fashion. The men were taken to the study for a cigar and a glass of wine. I was not supposed to know what the men do, but it is blankly obvious for they smell like cigar smoke and wine when they join us.
The women started talking about the monotonous subject of hats. A hat is a hat if you ask me. I droned out about the time they started talking about accessories for the hats! My, who knew women could jabber on about hats for so long. They kept trying to drag me in their intercourse but I just got bored with it.
Soon they started on gossip about the town. Who’s sweet on whom? Who’s doing this who’s doing that? Couldn’t they talk about normal things? Like that Idaho and Wyoming are now states. Or they could talk about Harrison’s Federal Elections Bill, if it’s going to be one or not. Or they could talk about our modern medicine how it’s changed over the years. We know far more than a hundred years ago, and we will probably know a lot more in a hundred years from now.
I felt someone poke me and I looked up to see everyone looking at me. Was I asked a question and I did not know it? I have been told not to let my mind wander to other things, but it’s hard not to when they talk of such boring things. Who cares about the latest fashion? As long as I have clothes I am fine with what I have. I’d even wear bloomer dress, they are much more logical to wear. “Hmm?”
“Lizzy, Charity asked you a question.” Ma said.
“I’m sorry I did not hear it what was it Charity?” I asked.
“How was the finishing school in Boston?”
“Oh, well I did not care for it, not that it was bad or anything, but I much rather have stayed home.” I replied. A round of gasps around the room and a scolding stare from Ma. Great.
“Why? Did you not want to become a lady?” Charity sneered.
“I do not think women have to go to finishing school to become a lady. I think they are a lady in their own rights.” I retorted.
“Lizzy that’s enough.” Ma scolded.
“Ma, I have yet to do anything wrong. Charity asked me a question and I answered. What’s wrong with telling the truth?”
“Lizzy” Ma remarked. She sent apologizing eyes to Mrs. Cook and Charity. They nodded like they knew I was wrong. I felt my face turn red with the embarrassment. I was not wrong for saying my opinion. I now a proper lady do not do such things, but I hate being a proper lady. I know what Ma says about hating anything so I strongly dislike being a proper lady. I wish I had never gone to finishing school! Charity started on her experience at the finishing school in Paris she attended. Because everyone knows Paris ladies are better than any others. Oh, how I wish I was not in this room. A plan started forming in my mind; yes I think that may work. I slightly poked Anna on the arm to get her attention. She looked at me with wide eyes. “Come with me” I mouthed. Anna shook her head. “Please” I whispered. “No” she mouthed. Fine I’ll myself.
“Excuse me, I know your discussion is very important but may I be excused. I need some fresh air.” I interjected. I looked at Ma with pleading eyes.
“You may but not for long we are to have supper soon.” Ma relented.
“Thank you.” I replied.
I walked as fast as I could in the dress I was wearing, to outside. Free! I stepped outside and felt the cool May breeze on my face. I can breathe freely now. No more strained conversation or looks from anyone. I laughed at the picture I must’ve made inside. I saw a shadow coming towards me and I squinted to see who it was. “Will?”
“The one and only. Lizzy, what’re ya doin’ out here?”
“I absolutely had to get away from them” I pointed to the house.
“Aw, come one could not have been that bad.” He teased for he knew how it was exactly. I have told him of the conversations that the ladies have.
“Oh, it was and more.” I walked off the porch steps and walked to stand next to him. “May we take a walk around to the stable and I’ll tell ya what they were like.” I smiled at him, hoping he’d say yes.
“Sure come on. Now tell me what was it that was so bad?”
He fell in to step with me. I proceeded to tell him of the discussion then my embarrassing moment. Although it was May and coming close to spring, it was a little chilly outside and I forgot my shawl. I rubbed my upper arms trying to warm up. He seemed to notice I was a little cold for he took off his jacket and draped it over my shoulders. “You should have gotten your shawl or wrap whatever you ladies call it.” He smiled that amazing smile and I felt my heart do another little flip-flop. What was this feeling? Surely I was just hungry, or still angry at Charity. His jacket smelled like outdoors and horses. The smell I associated with him awhile ago.
Later that night when I was tucked safely in bed I thought of that feeling. What was it? I had felt it twice. Once when he helped me down from the buggy, and then when he smiled at me. Why? I always thought of him as a great friend someone who’s always there for me no matter what. Maybe these feelings were something like a deeper friendship between us. I fell asleep thinking about Will and our friendship and what to come.
God bless
After I had unpacked and rested awhile I started to dress for the evening in the lions den. It felt weird having my maidservant helping me dress after four years of doing it myself. I did not know what to wear, for Charity Cook always looked grand. Her hair always perfect and her dresses always the right color to enhance her skin color, her hair color or the color of her eyes. What dress did I have that did that to me? That green velvet dress? It just intensified my eye color.
I do not know how long I stood in front of my cherry wood armoire looking at my dresses. I disliked everything in it. Nothing stood out compared to Charity’s fine closet. I walked over to my door and rang for Brigit my maidservant. She was here in no time.
“Yes Miss Elizabeth?”
“Brigit, I have nothing to wear!”
“Ma’am I’m sure you have something in your armoire.”
“Nothing pretty enough for going to the Cooks’ house. Charity might as well insult me on my clothing now.”
“Miss, I know my opinion means nothing but I fancy your navy blue evening gown with the train. It looks great with your black hair and green eyes. You’ll be the bell of the ball even though it ain’t a ball.” Brigit giggled slightly.
“Thanks Brigit I think I shall wear that tonight.”
“And Miss?”
“Hmm?”
“You should not mind what Miss Charity wears. It does not matter either way she ain’t a pretty woman on the inside. You Miss are pretty inside and out.”
“Oh, thanks Brigit that’s exactly what I needed to hear.”
“You’re welcome Miss now let’s get you dressed up.” Brigit helped me into my navy blue evening gown and curled and arranged my hair at the crown, with long ringlets falling down the nape of my neck. The front hair she pulled straight back, and parted it in the center and then curled those as well. As much as I hate being in the same room with Charity, right now I felt there was nothing she could do to hurt me. I felt pretty and that was all that mattered. “Thank you Brigit…for everything.”
“You’re welcome Miss.” Brigit left me to ponder over my looks. Brigit was right; the navy blue dress really did look great with my dark hair. I twirled around in it like I did when I was a little girl.
I knew I was expected downstairs soon so I took one last look at my reflection in the wall mirror and hastily walked down the stairs. When I reached the bottom step I saw Anna was waiting and Jose -err-Josephine. I have to remember she’s Josephine. Arthur Josephine’s husband and Pa and Ma were also ready. George the butler was standing in the corner. “Where’s Grandpa and Gamma?” I asked when I stepped off the stairs.
“Grandma is feeling under the weather right now so she and Grandpa will be staying home this evening.” Ma replied.
“What’s wrong with her? Maybe Dot has something that could help.”
“Dot?” Josephine gave a little unladylike snort. “Please Lizzy; you don’t seriously think any of her things will help Grandma do you.” Josephine sneered.
“Josephine, Dot’s tinctures and poultice’s help a number of people with illnesses. I’m sure she has something that’ll help Gamma.” I retorted. Josephine just huffed and rolled her eyes.
“Girls, be nice to each other. Lizzy, we do not have time to run over to Dot’s store right now. If Grandma is still feeling ill tomorrow, you may go over there and ask if she has something.” Ma stated to me then looked at Josephine and said. “Dot is one of our dearest friends and her herbs have helped with a number of things. She is wise in the herbs so she knows what she’s doing.” Josephine stood there stunned. I guess little snooty finally got reprimanded. It’s about time. “Now, if we are all ready let’s get into our carriages and head out to the Cooks’.” We all piled into our carriages and headed out. I felt unsettled. I wish I was the one feeling ill. That way I could miss seeing Charity Cook.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As we were pulling up to the Cooks’ house a scripture came to mind, one that Dot had taught me. “But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.” I really need to live by this especially when I’m around Charity. I shall practice this starting tonight. I shall be nice to her and bless her and pray for her tonight in my nightly prayers. That was the only thing God has commanded me to do regarding Charity.
Lord, help me say the right things, and keep my thoughts to myself! I prayed as I exited the carriage and headed towards doom. Will had accompanied us to the Cooks’ for he took care of the horses. He was the one who helped me from the carriage. I thanked him and wished I could linger out here with him instead of being in there.
The whole Cook family of three was waiting outside for us. Mrs. Sophie Cook looked lovely in a deep lavender evening gown with her golden hair so much like Charity’s, arranged on top of her head in curls. She reminded me of a royal queen addressing her subjects. Next to her was Mr. Jonathan Cook. He looked powerful and majestic standing there with his hand in his vest pocket. He wore spectacles on the bridge of his too long of a nose. Next to Mr. Cook was her. Charity. Of course she looked good in a soft pink velvet skirt and a white bodice covered in Spanish lace. Her curly golden hair was arranged in ringlets with a pink hat placed on top. They looked like a royal family, much less like a common family in Whispering Hills Tennessee.
“Welcome to our home. Do not just stand there come one in.” Mrs. Cook welcomed us. “Elizabeth darling how are you?”
“I’m fine thank you Mrs. Cook.” I replied.
Mrs. Cook ushered us inside. The entry hall walls were lined up with portraits of them. Also on the walls were paintings of past Cooks. On the left and rights walls were doors leading towards other rooms. Straight across from the front door was the winding staircase leading to the second story.
Mrs. Cook led us to the sitting room, where the ladies would chat and catch up. I did not care for such things for all the girls talk about is the latest fashion. The men were taken to the study for a cigar and a glass of wine. I was not supposed to know what the men do, but it is blankly obvious for they smell like cigar smoke and wine when they join us.
The women started talking about the monotonous subject of hats. A hat is a hat if you ask me. I droned out about the time they started talking about accessories for the hats! My, who knew women could jabber on about hats for so long. They kept trying to drag me in their intercourse but I just got bored with it.
Soon they started on gossip about the town. Who’s sweet on whom? Who’s doing this who’s doing that? Couldn’t they talk about normal things? Like that Idaho and Wyoming are now states. Or they could talk about Harrison’s Federal Elections Bill, if it’s going to be one or not. Or they could talk about our modern medicine how it’s changed over the years. We know far more than a hundred years ago, and we will probably know a lot more in a hundred years from now.
I felt someone poke me and I looked up to see everyone looking at me. Was I asked a question and I did not know it? I have been told not to let my mind wander to other things, but it’s hard not to when they talk of such boring things. Who cares about the latest fashion? As long as I have clothes I am fine with what I have. I’d even wear bloomer dress, they are much more logical to wear. “Hmm?”
“Lizzy, Charity asked you a question.” Ma said.
“I’m sorry I did not hear it what was it Charity?” I asked.
“How was the finishing school in Boston?”
“Oh, well I did not care for it, not that it was bad or anything, but I much rather have stayed home.” I replied. A round of gasps around the room and a scolding stare from Ma. Great.
“Why? Did you not want to become a lady?” Charity sneered.
“I do not think women have to go to finishing school to become a lady. I think they are a lady in their own rights.” I retorted.
“Lizzy that’s enough.” Ma scolded.
“Ma, I have yet to do anything wrong. Charity asked me a question and I answered. What’s wrong with telling the truth?”
“Lizzy” Ma remarked. She sent apologizing eyes to Mrs. Cook and Charity. They nodded like they knew I was wrong. I felt my face turn red with the embarrassment. I was not wrong for saying my opinion. I now a proper lady do not do such things, but I hate being a proper lady. I know what Ma says about hating anything so I strongly dislike being a proper lady. I wish I had never gone to finishing school! Charity started on her experience at the finishing school in Paris she attended. Because everyone knows Paris ladies are better than any others. Oh, how I wish I was not in this room. A plan started forming in my mind; yes I think that may work. I slightly poked Anna on the arm to get her attention. She looked at me with wide eyes. “Come with me” I mouthed. Anna shook her head. “Please” I whispered. “No” she mouthed. Fine I’ll myself.
“Excuse me, I know your discussion is very important but may I be excused. I need some fresh air.” I interjected. I looked at Ma with pleading eyes.
“You may but not for long we are to have supper soon.” Ma relented.
“Thank you.” I replied.
I walked as fast as I could in the dress I was wearing, to outside. Free! I stepped outside and felt the cool May breeze on my face. I can breathe freely now. No more strained conversation or looks from anyone. I laughed at the picture I must’ve made inside. I saw a shadow coming towards me and I squinted to see who it was. “Will?”
“The one and only. Lizzy, what’re ya doin’ out here?”
“I absolutely had to get away from them” I pointed to the house.
“Aw, come one could not have been that bad.” He teased for he knew how it was exactly. I have told him of the conversations that the ladies have.
“Oh, it was and more.” I walked off the porch steps and walked to stand next to him. “May we take a walk around to the stable and I’ll tell ya what they were like.” I smiled at him, hoping he’d say yes.
“Sure come on. Now tell me what was it that was so bad?”
He fell in to step with me. I proceeded to tell him of the discussion then my embarrassing moment. Although it was May and coming close to spring, it was a little chilly outside and I forgot my shawl. I rubbed my upper arms trying to warm up. He seemed to notice I was a little cold for he took off his jacket and draped it over my shoulders. “You should have gotten your shawl or wrap whatever you ladies call it.” He smiled that amazing smile and I felt my heart do another little flip-flop. What was this feeling? Surely I was just hungry, or still angry at Charity. His jacket smelled like outdoors and horses. The smell I associated with him awhile ago.
Later that night when I was tucked safely in bed I thought of that feeling. What was it? I had felt it twice. Once when he helped me down from the buggy, and then when he smiled at me. Why? I always thought of him as a great friend someone who’s always there for me no matter what. Maybe these feelings were something like a deeper friendship between us. I fell asleep thinking about Will and our friendship and what to come.
God bless
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